A little too perfect. A little too empty.

I like emptiness. The most! Yes, its my favorite emotion, if you think it qualifies as an emotion at all. Its not bright hued, incarnadine and crimson like joy, sorrow, love or cobalt and jaded and faded like sorrow, misery, faithlessness. It has all the tints and pigments I ever saw the world in and none at all. Today, it shimmers through the edges of your smile, another day it dies a slow death around your tears. Its all encompassing and yet contains one thing, yes, nothing. Emptiness, I like it the most.
You know what else do I like? You. That empty smile you give me, perhaps mocking the end of things between us. You don't ignore me, would that be too unkind? I wonder. You smile at me, and your eyes don't glimmer, they don't give me the will of letting them wander on my face and then return to find them, still at me, a little breathlessly. Those hazel eyes don't urge me to pass nights only staring at them. Not anymore. Your eyes have that look too, empty, barren, black and strangely vacuous.
And there's another thing I wish I didn't like, yes, I've been struggling to kill this feeling, and have yielded no success. Your name. Those two syllables, I want to persuade myself to not react to them, not die a little inside when someone mentions them, not think of the perfect times of yesterday, not marvel at the camaraderie, and not die a little death thinking I'm never going to feel it anymore.


  1. There's a lot of things in emptiness..

    today it shimmers through the edges of ur smile,another day it dies a slow death around ur tears..I think I loved these lines

    I'm so happy to see u here but this post sounds so sad..

    Miss ya ..like a lot :)


  2. This is what happens when a relationship ends or a heart breaks. You have portrayed it exactly like someone feels it.

  3. I don't like emptiness, but I love it. More like Loneliness. There is always a bit of that budding inside my heart. No matter where we stand, how happy we get. There's always gonna be that Loneliness, that emptiness inside.

    Because we're never alone, alone.

    1. Hiee... Ur comment intrigued me!! U bring such contrasting thibgs together that it almost bewilders me... Would u mind simplyfying these words of urs for me?:)

  4. Daniyal, We're never alone, yes. A part of us converses with the other. Tee hee :)

  5. I miss you too, T. I will come back after my exams and catch up on all I haven't.

  6. CD,
    Gratias ! And perhaps it a universal emotion, the heartbreak post a heartbreak :)

  7. Hey Crysty!!!! I missed uuuuuuuuu!! Then i gathered that u wud be preparing for ur boards! Kitni chuttiyan hai abhi beech mein!;p or did they even start?:D we guys end it till the end haina? Stream hi aisi hai?;)
    Now abt ur post... I feel emptiness carries a lot of fullness in it. It doesnt mks u feel complete. But almost fills the vacuum with its nothingness. Ironic as it is but the beauty is very close to the state of melancholia, where the person has lost his/ her ' self' .... This prose was a heavy read... Carried a lot of weight of that nothingness!

    ps: tu sahi haina??

    Love. All the besht!;)

  8. Heavy read...but loved it none the less! Where have u been dear, i suppose u r busy studying? Good luck with that. :)

  9. wow..beautifully expressed..tugs the heartstrings :)

  10. i love emptiness too. it's so...passive.. and it's so easy to feel, no strings attached kind.
    nice post! :)

  11. Beautiful post... Emptiness is good when ur sad and want to be happy... but its bad when ur happy, and the tables turn!

  12. OHMYGOD! *One tight Hug* I missed you so bloody much! :* :*

    Emptiness, so beautiful, profound and so light, it crushes you! I love it!

  13. At times emptiness is the only feeling that makes sense. It is the only feeling that completes you, complements you in many ways, in fact it is the only feeling that becomes almost too much to bear but is still bearable.

    This was some very heavy stuff. Hope doesnt relate to u in any way

  14. Dost....so glad to see you back!! <3 :-*

    You came up with yet another poignant post sweetheart. Your words and expressions gave emptiness and entirely different meaning.

    Keep writing chotu!!
    And all the best for your exams. :)

  15. good read..nicely written..just blog hoping...nice blog..do visit mine also http://fightersalwayfight.blogspot.in

  16. A unique composition on emptiness! Keep writing:)

  17. Those words have the power to hurt so brutally. But to me feeling the sorrow or the love is better than not feeling anything at all. Shows me that I am human. But after a certain point of time that emptiness creeps in. And that name, sometimes time fails to erase it.
    You write beautifully.

  18. *Stands up and gives you a thundering applause*

    The pain , the despair, the emotions, of feeling everything yet, having felt nothing at all... the feeling that you may not feel the same again .. is so beautifully mentioned .. i loved every word of this post ..

  19. hey girl..welcome back after a looooooong time...or is it just me?

    you wrote a whole post out of emptiness :P wow.... hadd... :)

  20. As always, whenever I visit you, I'm mesmerized.
    Btw, since you talk of perfection and emptiness, do read my last post on my blog.
    You would probably relate.

    Here's the link

  21. there is so much in that emptiness and it still is nothing. I loved this piece. Mature writing and so well-written.

    P.S. You've been Missed major.. tell me Suv gave you the hug I asked her to :D

  22. excellent piece on Loneliness, as usual. all the best for your exams. tc

  23. excellnt; all the best fgor your exams.

  24. Sometimes all you need is this particular feeling called emptiness...

  25. Sometimes its good :)
    and sometimes it gives the feeling of hell :(

    very complicated it is..
    visiting u after a long time..
    was hooked in exams.. now its over.
    hope u doing fine.
    By reading previous comments, it looks like u were busy in exams too..
    hope it went well !!!
    Missed u :)

  26. some how i don't agree with CD here, or rather don't agree to it completely! the emptiness could be there post breakup, but it cud also be there in course of a relationship which eventually leads to a break up. don't u think it just catalyzes the pain to see your relationship pacing towards a dead end and you could only be a silent spectator?

    for what is written, i just read it twice and wished I couldn't relate to it. But, as always, my wishes weren't granted :)

    take care of yourself Aayu, cos at the end of the tunnel there would be you and your shadow. the might of love would just mock a laugh. may you have the will power to smile back at him. bless you.

  27. That solitude state of mind, it crushes you. This ode to emptiness coming from your pen is exquisite.
    Hugs all the way. Love :)

  28. Sign..Emptiness is something! I abhor the feeling! And I wonder how you managed writing about it :)

  29. Thank you. I am doing perfectly fine, all. Its a piece of art and not of state of mind. :) I will try to get back to all of you. Tc.

  30. heavy read...you write so well...

  31. A heavy breath followed this, a sigh! And I looked around.. The words echoed in my ears,.. I dont know, i cannot say anything! This one has raped me of the words..

  32. This had something that will remain in me, it is still echoing inside me..
    You are my favorite writer! *hugs*


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