Hey, soul sister.

She was 10 when my parents got married. 6 years younger than what I am now. We share the same birthday, 5th February. And more than the insanity for food and fetish for traveling, we have a deep, almost Karmic connection. However, that story is for another day.
Ma remembers her as the girl with gray eyes, filled with poignancy and a beautiful almost mystical glow in her eyes. Even when I look at her these days, I want to immerse myself in those gray eyes. They speak volumes. When ma went to Jaunpur after marriage, she was still there, with her two younger brothers. Ma recalls all of them to be her source of joy.
She was especially ma’s only friend, despite the age difference they had. A newly wedded Indian bride has much to keep herself occupied, doesn’t she? These three kids brought a twinkle to her eyes. After those lengthy, monotonous, days, she would lighten her mood with the innocents smiles and sometimes gasps as my mother, the master story teller that she is, always had something to tell them. Up to this day, when they meet ma, I see the close bond they have. Its something I feel enamored of, and almost scared to penetrate. Yes, they’re that close. The beauty of their relationship stirs me, and I see how ma’s face totally lights up when one of them calls and says, “Chaachi .. “ (refers to one’s father’s younger’s brother’s wife)
She got married to a Army man. He was one of the most pleasurable people to converse with. I've only met him once when they were staying in Ooty, and I remember how very well he took care of all the guests. Their house was located in a beautiful place, lush green hills, incomparable, astonishing beauty. And we were guests to beautiful people too.

They had a son who was one year younger to me. He was obsessed with video games and PSPs. Still is. And he always beat me at it. Technology and I have the most complicated relationship.
Anyway, I have only met her husband once, and sadly, that was the last time. The last I remember is my parents weeping through the phone when her husband’s death was announced to us. He had battled cancer and had sadly, lost his life in the battle. I cannot fathom the sorrow of someone who loses her/his spouse. How do they feel when they walk into an empty, silent house where at a point of time the sounds of someone’s loving words echoed? How do they feel when they look into the wardrobe and realize half the clothes hung in it, will never be worn?

But I have something to tell you beyond the innumerous questions lurking in my head. She is still strong as a pillar. Even today when I look into her eyes, I only find hope in her eyes, exclusive to someone who has not lost life’s battle. She has not given up, she has not turned a loser, she has not let despair, depression, gloom, misanthrope, or an eternal sorrow seep into her life. She is full of life, and even when you meet her today, you would only run into fits of laughter. Careless, flowing laughter. She is a charmer, and she charms me with her enthusiasm towards everything!
She’s my eldest sister on my father’s side and I am the youngest, and when I look up to her, I only wish I could imbibe an ounce of the fervor in her. The fervor to live on.


  1. aww..Im touched ..I dont know what to say..I hope her smiles and laughter stays forever and ever....she's beautiful :)

    May God bless her

    Send my hugs to her :)

  2. Some emotions were never conveyed
    Regret, Contempt & some sorrow still remains.

    Life just kept moving ...some moved with it ..some stood still.

    & You expressed each and every word better than words.

  3. some woman are just so strong ... i admire that quality in them :) ...

    thankyou for sharing this post :)

  4. What a sad story. I admire her strength, though.

    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  5. Such women are definitely a quintessence of real beauty of the heart. The story of that lady, touched me to the core and even though I don't know her I have developed a lot of respect for her. Thanks to your brilliant writing skills, choti!
    You are absolutely a pro when it comes to gripping the reader till the end. <3

  6. tell her to do, what her husband would have wanted her to do. find someone else. this sounds wrong i know, but its worth it.

  7. and how life changes and why is still the most enigmatic mystery i came across.
    some people ... when they enter in your life... and you get so attached to them that you only wish for one thing that too desperately that you don't get to see their departure/exit.
    em sorry i did not notice the beauty of your writing style in this post. all i felt and i am still feeling is for your sister.
    hug her tightly, cry with her, make sandwiches with her, kiss her from my side and tell her even though i don't know her i salute at her strength/courage.

  8. A very strong woman for whom I've developed great respect..!! I hope she still has the strength to go on in life ... and may never a dull moment come into her life...

    Thank you Crystal for sharing this.. it is BEAUTIFUL! :)

  9. Make her read this, I'm sure she'll be touched and it'll mean a lot to her. Crystal, you're gifted when it comes to words.

  10. And if you don't mind, can I have a mail ID please? *puppy eyes*

  11. Being strong is the only option left during such tragic situations. God be with her always.

  12. people like her should be our true role modals..I wish her happiness and joy..there are not many people who are strong enough to deal with things like this..and we are lucky if we have one around us..it gives us hope and them a moral support..please stay connected with her hamesha..make her feel you are there for her..

  13. Some people touch our lives and make a difference forever. I had an elder sister like that and her memory is etched in my mind, like the trails of an aeroplane in the clear sky.

    God can be brutal sometimes, but he never asks us to take tests which we cant pass.

  14. crystal - she must be lucky to have you - hope you would always have a cordial relation with her. em so touched by this post - when it comes to relations, we have to be strong!!

    love x

  15. All that happens becomes part of life..but to stick with unhappy moments is the most dreadful thing one can do to themselves.
    And your soul sister is indeed a beautiful person as you describe :)
    May your bond be forever as through souls :)

    And you molded the whole picture so nicely.


  16. rock pillar strength... Some ppl r blessed with so much courage n strength n its a gift to be with them.

    Glad to read about her !!

    Awesome read as ever crystal...

  17. you are lucky to have come across such a strong soul of a woman. I am yet to meet someone like that
    Beautiful to read

  18. the strength of a woman's mighty heart...it is foolish to underestimate it.:-)

  19. When I saw the title I thought you were referring to one of your soul sister's so I just had to figure out which one :D I was wrong on every count. Maybe you're taking lessons from Israr :P

    What a wonderful and inspiring post this is and ironically some of the subject matter is similar to my next post which I almost published tonight! I have 40 mins 'til midnight so it may still happen *grin*

    Really LOVED this post! Muahhz! :*

  20. Some people are constant source of inspiration through out our lives :)

  21. My wordsmith.Sigh!! i am goin to kidnap u one day, to pen down my stories. and no, i aint kidding :D

  22. She is indeed a very enigmatic and beautiful woman. Cheers, guys. Thank you. And Insha'Allah, I will have more memories with her.

    Twi, You're SO damn adorable.
    Finny, Heehee. Oh you did? I shall check it ASAP.
    Raj, She doesn't need to. Happy and contended with her own life. And even if she does at some point of times, she's her own person. She'll do it.
    PeeVee, right back at you :)

  23. crystal. deep down. she knows she does. but the same deep down she knows its not something she cant talk about to anyone.

  24. hats to off to her..
    life is the best teacher..
    it makes us strong even without us realising it..
    i was moved reading your description..of the immense love between your mother and her..
    i know how it feels to have a soul sister..
    now that i have one..
    may god bless the lady and her family with a life full of goodness and joy..

    cheers luv..

  25. Raj: Hypothetical. I don't think that's what goes inside her mind, but if you say so.
    Meoww: True. Mommie is very fond of her. Always shall be. And thank you, hon :)

  26. could be. thing is, with a mans mind you can be sure. when it comes to a woman. well like they say in collg, haath khade :D

  27. Sometimes the life is very harsh, but one has to live against odds! A moving post..

  28. She is a woman. And that speaks volumes about her.

  29. I agree with Girbala here ...she is a women in the truest sense of the term...
    SHE is not just an inspiration to you and me, she is an inspiration to life. I am sure life will be put to shame on seeing the fervour she has in her eyes!

  30. truly gifted with words. you make everything sound even greater, than it actually is.
    such women are always my inspirations. they give us the real hope and strength to let life go on.

    *hugs tightly backkk* :)

  31. Thank you, Rahul Sir.
    Shruti: So true.
    Izdiher: Aww. :') Thank you.
    A grain of sand: Girbala kaun? o.O
    and, yes, agree with you totally.
    Mahnoor: Aw baby! You're so cute. xx

  32. Gosh!

    God bless her with love and more strength.....

    Apologies for not being around off late...

  33. well..its good to know that she is still strong even after her greatest loss... this is how life is..unpredictible and unfair...

    and now i understands...you inherit these story telling genes from your mom :) amazing....

  34. TBB, Never an issue. Thanks.
    Grain of sand, Never mind. :)
    Israr, She is. and haha, maybe.

  35. Oh beautiful! :') :') I am speechless.... *Hugs* So...so overwhelmed.... I love you Crystal, I do.... <3

  36. Touching. Very, very touching. you have a way with words, ma'am.. hats off! :)


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