"H.. uh.. h..iii !!.." she managed to get the words out of her mouth somehow.
"Hey, wassup ?" , his heavy, husky voice that arised insane sensations all over, echoed in her ears.
"N..n..noth..ing! I gotta goooo.." .
Escape was required. It was too tough to look into that gaze of his for long. Killer gray eyes, I tell you.
She sprinted back to the rear of the canteen and took out the familar red, slightly tattered, but still beautiful diary, and scribbled through it.
Did that just happen? Our eyes met, and my heart skipped a beat, just like the first time
I was talking to HIM. Yes, him.
Damn, some voices. Why do they arise those sensations even when the person from who its coming is a ... you know.
..
She saw him peeping at her from behind the stained window, and she instantly kept the diary inside.
He still had the innocence in his eyes. But she knew it inside, it was just an act, put up too smartly.
"You've hurt me once.. the venom is fresh in my blood. I can't let those eyes take better of me again" she mumbled reassuring herself.
She looked at him for the last time, and turned away. Away, from another betrayer.
45 comments:
can i swim with you in the world of the most beautiful imaginations and fantasies all created my you.
:)
the word betray is so close to my heart you know that, don't you??
:)
tc
You create such lovely word pictures :)
I hope she keeps herself protected ,and turns away from "another betrayer" each time!..
it does no good gnawing at your own wounds...
nice read!
that was a nice read...though I didn't like it as much as the other posts.. :/ .. Sorry...image is fab and the central idea is lovely.. :D
Not another betrayal! Great imagination..
"You've hurt me once.. the venom is fresh in my blood. I can't let those eyes take better of me again"
SUPERB, condensed, expression to depict a universal scenario of our emotional lives. The one where we fall for someone who hurts us deeply yet the heart is weak and tempted to dismiss all logic when eyes meet eyes ... in that moment, once again. "Not again" is the perfect title for this writing!
Fantastic image and it especially appeals to the senses of my calligraphy days :) I used to burn the edges of the parchment with a lighter, after making small tears in the paper. Just a little story that has nothing to do with the reason you selected this image :D
You have the midas touch, my dear! Have you heard the expression, 'You can sing the phone book' ? This is the ultimate compliment a vocalist can receive in her singing career. I'm going to put my own Finny twist on it and say, "You can write the phonebook and it will always sound good to me!"
Much love! :*
Betrayal always brings out the best in your words :) This was captive and damn, I'm not the first one even this time. I used to write a diary in 8th grade, Mom read it once and that was that :D:D
P.S. Fiona's comments intimidate me ;) I don't love you any less :*
Ooooooooooh!! Is thr a next part or sequel to this?? I sooo want it continued!
Loved it!
@ Suvaiba,
Betrayal is probably something everyone in this world connects too. Its pretty universal, innit?
And thank you. I live in a fantastical world through my posts too ;)
@ Laya,
Aye. How are you, diddledoo? :)
And thanks.
@ Grain of sand,
Ditto. Sometimes gnawing at wounds provides temporary healing but its moving on which heals it completely.
Thanks :)
@ Confused Soul,
Hmm .. Respect your opinion. Thank you :)
@ Rahul sir,
Thank you :)
@ Finny,
** a universal scenario of our emotional lives.
I so agree. Betray is a miserable part of our lives and yet we've all faced it, sometime or the other.
I did that too. We used to stain the paper with coffee and burn the edges, gives quite an effect :)
You know what, your comments make my day, no week, no years! :D
That was a HECK of a compliment. Despite the deep coarseness and hoarse voice I possess, I thank thee. You I love. :*
@ Serendipity,
Hahaha! I have a similar story. My diary was torn to pieces cos I got horribly bored and lived in the constant fear of it being read. -.-
And you are as dear as Finny to me. Love you both. :*
@ Reddie,
Afraid there isn't. I thought this was pretty torturous on its own. :P
Thanks ree.
I would now like to read the prequel to the story...
Touchy words.. Well expressed
I believe we never heal completely. We just become immune to it. Its always there hiding, waiting, biding its time to pounce again..
I loved it and u know it :p :D
P.S Can I ask u a question??? A bit personal so u don't really have to answer it if u dont want to :D
Here I come to the pentagram again :)
stories of betrayal are made up after love stories, hena? :P
P.s. I again ask you for address of 'your existence' :D
i wish i could stole your diary :P
wonderfully narrated ..enjoyed every word of it :)
@ Siddhartha,
Its fiction. No prequel, no sequel. Though, if you say, I'll write something that fits.
@ Deepika,
Gratias :)
@ Aliza,
You start ignoring the wounds, thinking they will heal, thinking the pain will get off on its own. Nothing happens. Time heals though.
Yes, ask whatever you wish. Shoot.
@ Iffi,
Betrayal isn't necessarily connected to love .. could be the end of a friendship, alliance anything!
And sorry I missed your question. I was born in Mumbai though currently based in Lucknow :)
@ Muhammad,
I wish I could get my diary back too! :D
Thank youuu!
a simple story that we hear everyday felt very refreshing......magic of words huh.....narration was superb
I won't look into your eyes.
You are another betrayer.
No one looks into your eyes,
The way I looked, once..
This simply,
Is My prayer..
:D
Aah betrayal at its best!
I second Sid....This seems to have more to it, a rather dark one but makes you think....think a lot...
It happens! We get tempted to fall again even after getting betrayed once.
Very well expressed and you just nailed it with a perfect heading. :*
@ Guilty conscience,
Its too common a scene. Glad you found it refreshing!
Thank you very much :)
@ Kunal,
Oh My God. Was that instant ingenious? :O
@ Ria,
Haha! I like how the paradox sounds.
@ TBB,
Guess I found it complete like this. I shall give the pre/sequel a though. Thank you honey.
@ Vinati,
A broken heart means you attempted to achieve something!
Thank you so much ree. :*
tu na kamaal hai! kamaal!
a lot of 'wordly' inspiration comes from heartbreaks!! This was a nice little prose that you have put together so well... it fell in place and was gripping.. :) great!
He is a betrayal because, we didn't look in his heart. His looks, style and secsyness were the key to impress.
It's time to move on... That's what I have to say!
http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
Hmmmmm inspiration :)
* thumbs up*
broken heart has no spare parts!!!
love x
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh !!!!
my heart skipped a beat at your description of the girl's nervousness..!!
loved the post!!
cheers !!
fantastic...cheers
and so what shall i say dear??? =)
im loss of words.!!
:(
If only everyone cud b as strong..
but yes indeed. Not again.
<3!
I am reading and enjoying your company. Hello, crystal.
Well-written. Its best to move on.
hats off dear quite impressive post..:)
every time I came here.I have to say that your words never fail to impress me.
keep writing baby!!!
U have a way with words and its not just words its like whatever u write, u write it with ur heart and I just loveeeee it =D
Enough tareefain I guess :P
Hey, wanna ask that Whatever u write, is it a complete work of fiction?? I mean trust me there are feelings u can never express at least not until u have experienced them.
Does your writing means more to you other than just a collection of words??
GOD!!!! I'm not making any sense, am I???
moving post,
all your posts are so touchy...
hmm.. but hoped it had a happy ending :)
Amazing is the word for you! :)
awww this is identical to what I have just written!:-)
kitnay miltay hein hamaray khiyalat.kiya tum meri melay may khoie howi behen tou nai:p
Why don't you convert one of your short posts into a story? If your small posts get me hooked, then the stories will get me transfixed :D
A prequel is a mustttt for this one :) . Its so hard to stay away from certain people, esp when you know how much being with them hurts, but am glad that she went away from him .....
I loved the part wherein you mentioned as to how his voice made her go all numb :P ...
the only problem with women is that their vulnerability is taken advantage of ...
beautiful post.. i admire the strength that your protagonist displays..:) ...
Holy cow... too fucking awesome!!!!
very, very, very inspiring.
betrayal, how true. :(
cruel world. Isn't it.
Deep ! As I had said earlier, your short stories make a profound effect. Rather than writing a novel, why don't you put all the short stories in one book and publish it? It's high time considering writing as your profession. No kidding. I alone can sell more than 1000 copies of your book or anyone else can, for that matter ! The best thing about your writing is, you write short stories most of the times and yet, people NEVER ever can think your pattern monotonous. In case of you, there always is a next level ! Keep posting :)
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