You want to hold on, but there comes a point when what you were clinging onto is lost. Who you were holding onto is also lost.
The face that once comforted you in a crowd turns hostile and in a matter of hours, it becomes a part of that crowd which makes you feel all the more uncomfortable.
You will walk into an empty room, and expect someone there, waiting for you with a look in their eyes. A look that sets a bad day right, a look that reassures you that everything is understood even when a word is not shared or spoken. Or wait, maybe the room is just not empty, its just void of people you would want to converse with. Its only a room full of people you only ‘watch’ but never communicate with. They weren’t one of those people you’d call to have the concluding-to-nothing talks, share the headless, tailless, senseless laughter. ‘Cos them with you could stir a conversation on anything, are not there.
The crushes, the dreams, the thoughts, the failures, the aspirations, the sentiments- that one person you poured everything into- is not there.
One day, you held hands, clung onto each other for support and the other day, things turned haywire. And you lost her. Her touch, her smile, her comfort, and most importantly her presence and essence.
Maybe she’s still there, but her way of looking at you is totally altered. Now you ‘just talk’ never ‘communicate’. This, is even worse than her going away. Perhaps, forever.
That really good friend of yours and how you lost him/her. How it pains!
Sometimes the walk-out is for bad, mostly not. But her empty place ..
How you wish her back.
Maybe life turns around, and you get her back. But .. you both know, once a knot in the thread, and things are never the same.
Update : This is off the blog post entirely but I got a friend who writes awesomely and deserves tonnes of readers, Priyanka. Visit Gossamer diaries NOW. Its an order. And yes, we're similar. (Which means, awesome ;) )