9/25/11

When he picked up the rifle.

He looked stoned. His eyes had a blank stare in them. I shook him twice, but to no avail.



He stood at the door, and went on to look at the blazing fire at one end of the room. It was snowing hard, way hard outside, but with just a jacket on, it did not look like he had any sensation of what so ever was going on around him. I was uncertain of what his expression was meant to convey as well. One thing I was definite about, there was a storm raging somewhere inside him. Would not it be inside us too if we saw one of ours being burned, kicked, abused , and killed right before our eyes? His kid, standing with a slogan in his hand, being pulled by the officials into some wagon, his wife's kameez being tattered into a thousand pieces, and a maniacal laughter all around. Those dogs.
All this while, he was there .. lying there, with his legs severely wounded, his wife raped, dead , his son being taken away to some place he had no clue of .. but he was helpless. He was wounded, and slowly giving way to a mental vacuum, whilst the images in front of him grew more and more hazier , and the pain went to become more and more excruciating .. the images more hazy, and hazy ..
A rattle on his lower arm brought him back to his senses, or so he thought. Something struck him, and his reverie broke off in the middle, or maybe it was just his conscious decision, maybe the end of his story was too painful to be thought of. The moment he came back to his normal vision, thoughts circulated, and he realized he was not in the midst of a gore anymore. His body which was shivering as he was daydreaming about his past experience, stopped doing so, 'cos now the scene ahead of him was different. Though, the pain which the memory brought along with it .. ah, it would not ever change.He was himself, without his family ofcourse. When he moved on towards the rifle hung on the left, with a glint of revenge and venegeance in his eyes, something did not surprise me.



..



Man- protagonist. An unknown guy whose swept in the middles of a bloodbath with his family. Sees his family beaten up et al, and takes up arms as a desperate measure for revenge. I wonder if you need this, but anyway!

34 comments:

  1. you are an aaaahmaaazing writer ! Invincible ! Go Crystal goooo :D

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  2. Thanks bud. You make me all smiles =]

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  3. WOooops....

    Loved reading it.

    Your Imagination <3

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  4. @ Imaadii @ Maryam :
    Thanks a tonnnnne, guys <3

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  5. Those wear some strong words...i cud picture every scene.
    Great read!d!

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  6. Great imagery...
    u hooked me in those words..

    Lovely read !!

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  7. you are amazing writer,,,one cannot stare anywhere else from the screen until the story is finished...marvelous :)

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  8. And then he was labelled as a veteran Terrorist....

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  9. This is amazing. I really love it.

    Great job!

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  10. @ Aman,
    Thank you and welcome here, bud :)

    @ Red Handed,
    That was just the intention.
    Gratias!

    @ Jyoti,
    Thanks a tonnnne !

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  11. @ Israr,
    That is one HECK of a compliment. Thanks thanks thanks!

    @ Daniyal,
    Yes :(
    The world and its weird ways..

    @ Lemons,
    Welcome here :D
    And thanks a lot lot.

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  12. wHat A POWER FULL POST,CRYSTAL.I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE AND IT'S VERY POWERFUL YET LADY LIKE/

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  13. Very strong. And powerful :)
    A very gripping post!

    You write very well :)

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  14. Compliments are much, much appreciated, girlies. Thank you so much, Izdiher and Philo <3

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  15. crystal g..!
    next post agar positive nhi hua to ek hafte tak aapko khana nhi milega class me :P samjheeeee
    its great n i love ur writing and u both..!
    janeman
    janebahar
    dilruba
    typs..! :P lolzl
    an smthng is srsly cooking b/w 2 ahem ahems souls..! :P u knw who na??
    and yes reminds me of sniper..! :)
    kuch or kahna baki ae??
    nahi na
    alvida meri chudhdhu..! :P :)
    tc

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  16. I have said it before. So I don't know how to rephrase it. And I might not say it often. But I absolutely LOVE the way you write. LOVE. And the topics you write on. Amazing.

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  17. The imagery in your writing is just perfect.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

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  18. This was very well narrated Crystal, I enjoyed every bit of it!

    p.s. The last para wasn't actually necessary, but I think you already gave it a lot of thought before publishing...

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  19. ...loved it crystal!

    story of despair, vengeance, love, and the like, brought to one... fantastic!!

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  20. simply beautiful and touched the heart,

    loved ur ABOUTME we have many things similar,have a wonderful life

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  21. @ Suvaiba,
    Behen, yea purana post recycle kia hai. You know how the old posts are. Saddie saddie. :P
    I know. I am pretty damn awesome, no? :D *broad smile*
    Nothing is cooking between anyone. Don't try and act too smart smart , samjhi, Ms.9/10? :P
    And thaaaanks. You make my day day. :D


    @ Zeba,
    I repeat, a compliment from a writer as good as you, means a lot of a LOT!

    @ Bonnie,
    Thanks a tonne. <3

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  22. @ Siddhartha,
    Hey there, and welcome here. :]
    Thank you! Every piece of praise/criticism means a lot.
    And I only added the last paragraph, because a lot of my readers have complained they got a little lost after reading this one. :[ Its an old post you know. Was on Facebook before this.

    @ Kharren,
    Thank you. Much love, hun. :]

    @ Baili,
    Aww. Thanks for noticing.
    I'll drop by your blog in a jiffy.
    Gratias again!

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  23. I completely understand, I have also added a para once just because the users were completely lost :)

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  24. I agree with all the other *amazing* comments about your writing talents! Excellent post ~ congrats! :) ♥

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  25. I am speechless and spellbound after reading this...left me with goose bumps!!

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  26. ohh ohh ohhh
    i am bachpan se hi smart an em not acting :P
    like kiku..! :P an an an i know i am such a good frnd i make ur day my day
    x day
    y day
    and someday we all will celebrate EPIC DAY together..! :P
    :)tc

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  27. @ Siddhartha,
    Aahh yes :D Good to know someone had confused his readers too, prior to this! Hahah :D

    @ Lady Fiona,
    You write beautifully yourself, hun!
    Thanks a lot of a lot.

    @ Ria,
    Gee! Thanks ! :]

    @ Suvaiba,
    Oversmart matt bano tum, ladki! Pitwa dungee mai tumhe Chuddhu baba se -_- And though there are no epic days, I do hope to celebrate a couple of days. (hides in a corner)

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  28. killing! The feeling of helplessness is cruel.

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  29. Thank you Richa, thank you Rahul. Much love.

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  30. When your words draw a picture in the reader's mind, that's when you know you're doing it right :) and I want you to know you're doing it right :)

    I'm so digging you today :)

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