And she lay numb..

Suggestion : Before reading the post, think of the biggest mistake of your life and feel the sorrow which you felt at that moment, and with that sorrow give this a read.
Trust me, with no emotions of joy, sorrow, love or lust. You will never feel this post.

Like someone takes all the layers of your skin off..one by one, slowly.. with the speed by which the crystal clock gayily perched on her room's black and white wallpaper and said "4:30 a.m"..with the same motion did she feel that a sharp and thick knife was slowly being pierced into her skin and the suffering became inevitable..with each breath she took, she felt as if someone was slowly cutting off the oxygen supply which had given put in some life in her for a change. The red lamp in her room gave her the feeling that she had entered hell right away..and the Devil was laughing on her hysterically for her sin. She didn't know what to do except for piercing a blade into her left vein. Sudden reveries of what had happened the night ego kept flashing in her minds, and with each arriving moment, she felt as if the whimpering and comparitively dark piece of light coming in from the window was distracted by the smoke which kept coming out from her cigarette. She rubs them off, but the clear view has gone forever. The second she turns in her bed, she feels the sensation that she's been put on a bed of razors. She wants to walk, but her organs, specially her heart have stopped showing mercy, and slowly penetrates into her soul, a fear, a fear of her secret being known to the world. She's captured in clutches of slavery, and by each passing breath, she feels them become shorter by the second. The blade which she put in her left wrist hurts like hell, but there's no pain which can make THE pain subtle. The most eeries silence surrounds her, and into her eyes she can sense the dread entering..the dread which has made a lot of women suffer.Veins slowly turn green, and she can literally "feel" the mental vacuum. She had nothing, absolutely nothing to lay her head on, except maybe some gentle memories, which now hurt, rather than putting a gentle hand on her. The aura which once enlightened her soul is now her biggest enemy, and the pain slowly starts getting into her heart. The aura isn't friendly anymore..it slowly takes her conscience away. Was this destined to be? Laughter,joy,sorrow,love,friendship,hatred..all feelings have betrayed her..nothing remains, not even a tiny bit of faith. The faith was murdered brutally the very day she realized her blunder. And did someone say that mistakes are forgiven? Certainly not this one.Her body is considerably numb, and the pain is going away, not because she feels any calmth but because her last breath had been finally aken away. Not giving her any sadness, but just a reassurance that the insult will be of no one, not even her "Soulmate" who decieved her.

This is what a girl who has to abort her child feels like.
This is my point of view..how ugly it may be...but sigh.


  1. first it looked as though i waxed my feet and wore a back panty after getting sloshed..

    then i knew it wasnt me...

    abortion.. i am for it... depends on the situation

  2. tears all the way...!!!

    cant say anymore...u have said enough...!!!

  3. Really really sad post girl....

    I agree with Chriz though

    And I can finally comment ..:D

  4. i am speechless... could feel the pain going through my veins... :(

  5. sad sad thoughts...

  6. I kno it better...

    but u carved the pain beautifully but alas the materialistic minds won't get it then too...

    oh btw abt the blog..

    make it two templates...and wateva u feel like..just that it should be readably contrast..rest I leave upto ur imagination....

  7. Ohhhh!No
    This is terrible terrible!!! i shouldnt have started my day with this post:(

    but allappreciation for the way you weaved the words

  8. people find it emo few find it terrible but this is the reality that gores inside one's chest a feeling that rips u apart

    i had hell lot of shit inside me when i read this


    beautifully worded

  9. So you have given a heading to it.
    I did read this yesterday bt was in a hurry so did not post a comment.

    >>think of the biggest mistake of your life and feel the sorrow which you felt

    You know what Aayu....you described it so well that it aroused multiple emotions itself & I did not feel the need to follow the suggestion.
    Well done. The comparisons that you put here did speak of the pain.

    Dark post!!

    P.S The blogger kid has surely grown up (at least in thoughts if not in age)

  10. That is dark Aayushi, Have you been watching the SAW series? Bed of razors... OmG!

    Brilliant piece from the point of view of writing skills.

    But regarding the question of whether Abortion is valid or not, that's a different issue.

  11. heart wrenching!!! one of ur best aayu...

  12. I didn't expect that, but it really sounded real....very emotional.

  13. One of your best and very intense posts
    Sad but so so true.
    Loved this post, however sad it be.

    Btw, loved what you've done to Edison Square
    Thank you!
    Could you choose a few widgets for me?

  14. Hey Aayushi!!

    This is a 'social disaster' but it is something extremely common in today's life!!

    The way yo have expressed the pain is intense and it directly speaks to your soul rather than your brain!!!

    Painful but soul-quenching!!

    Do I really make any sense??? :P

    Take Care

  15. When one goes to THE extent, it's probably the circumstances that can only be blamed, but, to feel the pain and sorrow, of a third person, takes something... and that is prcisely what I felt when i read the piece... and as I mentioned in the shoutbox.. I'm still getting goosebumps.

  16. @ All,
    thankyou thankyou!!!...

    will just start reply one by one :)

  17. @ Chriz,

    Uh huh..
    You guys think its THAT easy to bid farewell to a part of you which is growing inside you?
    Ask a woman how it feels!

  18. @ I'll try to ,
    My heart ached when I wrote this. :| :(

  19. @ Hemz,
    Now don't make me cry :(

  20. @ Anurag,
    Dittto my reply to Chriz hre!

  21. @ The Pink Orchid,
    I shiver while re-reading this :(
    But makes me feel nice that someone really felt the pain.

  22. Vibes... Sent vibes...

    Peace. Be well.

    Yes, will update soon. Something or the other holds me up off late.

    Trust all is well.


  23. @ DD,
    Some people will just read this and forget it..it has something inside this. The message..something I so strongly believe on.
    And ya..okay! Will design your template..

  24. @ ShoeGirl,
    I'm sorry if this spoiled you day! :(..but this was just a msg..

  25. And oh yez..thanks for appreciating the effort! :)

  26. @ The poet manque,
    Could you pleeeeeeeeease add some fullstops or commas to your words?..took me some seconds to comprehend what you commented.
    And gratias!

  27. @ Arunima,
    I wanted to add the suggestion b'cos people generally read,comment and forget..I wanted this one to have an impact. Dunno if it did..but I did my work.
    And good that you didn't comment yestrday..because stupid me had disabled the comments :D..
    And thanks a ton for the PS,baby..means a lot!

  28. @ Rakesh,
    Whether abortion is valid or it isn't.
    I find it very much impossible to do..I mean can you possibly obstruct something growing inside you from seeing light?

    Disgusting. And the worst part is most guys run away, and leave the girl alone to face the insult.

  29. @ Xh,
    Those words made me feel sure that half of my work is done ! :)

  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

  31. Thanks Tin tin! :-) (Trinaa) !!

  32. @ Riversoul,
    Hey Sid. Thanks a lot,buddy!
    means a lot to me..yez..I know its way too sad.

    And m realllly happy you liked Edison..and FCOURSE I'll do some widgets for you!..worry not! :D

  33. @ Akshat,
    Yea..you made complete sense to me.. :)
    Gratias !

    I wanted this social epidemic to be known to people, and just warn them of being slightly careful.

  34. @ Azoed,


    I remember this line from Halla Bol "Apne dard par toh jaanvar bhi rota hai,insaan woh hai jo doosre ke dard ho samjhe!"

  35. @ @ Kartz,
    Did you FEEL the vibes? :)

    And oh yez. M waiting for the udpate

  36. The first time I read it, I was smitten by it. I read it again now! And I had goosebumps again.

    Loved it to the very core..
    Take Care

  37. Bravo girl...
    written very well..
    Very less people can feel others pain or can understand how it feels when people are distressed or worried..
    You are one among them :) !!

  38. Sometimes life is just d way u described it or may be den its not life,just a living dead!!

    By far,one of the best post tat i read on web!!
    Well done !!

  39. mm.. true but really sad, that abortions actually have to happen! It's all due to misplaced priorities!

    Although I'm for abortion if the situation exists!

    Nicely written hun!

  40. Very well written!

    As for my biggest mistake, I dun hv words to express. Maybe I hvnt still forgiven myself for it...maybe I hv..I dunno. Cos Im numb abt it too.


  41. tum choti baachi itna kaise socht leti ho..i dunno how you inculcate such thots..
    i really wonder

  42. @ Shruti,
    Gratias. :)

    Goosebumpss?? oooooooooo !

  43. @ Charmed one,
    Glad someone thinks that! :)

  44. @ Shrav.
    It is NOT that easy to bid adieu to something GROWING inside you!


  45. @ Keshi,

    I feel numb like tht when I think of some ugly truths toooooo..

  46. @ Keshi,

    I feel numb like tht when I think of some ugly truths toooooo..

  47. hey where did my comment go? i posted right after chris?? :X hmmph!

  48. i hope i did not make any nonsense to you. next time i will take care of punctuations when i comment on your blog

  49. numb..numb...numb
    the despair and tragedy is brought forth...it tugs at the heart with an immense force...sad!!!

  50. It's high time people shunned the practice of abortion. The dark words were quite effective in bringing out your wrath! All the more it's justified!
    Keep the words flowing! Kudos!

  51. @ Preeti,
    Pleeeeease don't make me cry now !:(

  52. @ the poet manque,
    haha! no problems with me !:)
    and oh yez..I'd be happy if you did that :)

  53. @ Rampantheart,
    someone felt the pain!


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