We were great friends..since around 7 years.Wow.Life was great when you were with him.He was a star,mind you STAR! It was a pleasure to talk with him,fight with him,and even sing hoarse songs with him.That was life,man.Those years spent with my "bestest buddy".Whenever I'd dress up and move out for college,he'd be there waiting on his bike,giving his cherubic smile and extra long "HEYYYYYYYYYYY!".And oh yes,the day was assured to be a disaster if I didn't see his face in the morning.If in case,he'd ask me something and I'd not reply,he'd act like a kid,and stop talking.But still,life was so perfect.But there's something about perfection that makes it imperfect! It was impossible to stay without talking with him,even for a day,that is.
After a month or so,he got into JHC,and went away to Bombay,and I,the lawyer,was busy studying in Bangalore.We did promise to meet,but come on,it was so like impossible.We met up,but hardly once in two months.Life was okay..it hardly mattered,as we (or precisely I) forgot that life was empty without somethings and people.
I told you no,how life had a habit of making perfect moments non-perfect?
Oh yes that crap thing..it made us meet! Sounds so great,no? It did,to me as well.I got a message on my mobile,which a long HEYYYY! which at once made me recognize that from whom the message was.I nearly jumped with excitment and started replying,until a phone call suddenly came on it."Heyloo Aunty" I immediately recognized his voice and spoke "HEY DUDE!" .."Oh yeah! 5 months and finalllly! "
"You forgot about me,didn't you",he spoke,mockingly.
"Oh yeah..who the heck cares about a dumbwit like you?"
"Hahahha..your sarcasm.By the way,on to the point! Mama's marriage coming up,and even Mom's birhday is round the corner,so we decieded to come to Bangalore for some time!"
"JEEZ! Really?!!!",I literally shouted with glee.
"Stop screaming,you jackass!",his smile could be felt in my ears even via those long thread of communication called PHONE WIRES.
"Haha..okay,dude.We'll meet up somewhere.How'd CCD be? Remember ...our old hang out place in Delhi?"
"Yup,sure..I'll bring some friends along,don't mind,do you?"
"Hell no!",I laughed.
It sounded so weird that he asked me to bring his "friends" along..All he had were insane friends. I pretty well knew it would some of his rowdy gang of guys coming up.
So the 3rd of February finally came up! Yippeee..it was one day when I got up without any alarm hanging around my lazy ass to wake me up.I was way too ecstatic today! As immediately as I was awake,I dressed up,and within an hour or so,I was totally dressed up in a hip way,head to toe.I look up my watch,it was around 10:00 a.m.3 more hours. Time sticks around when you're really waiting for the moment.
I slept for the sake of passing my time,as even blogging on my computer (which to tell you,was my favourite pass time) seemed really boring and monotonous.I got up at 1:30 .
Okay.Damn me,I am one big time sleeper.I was late to the thing I was awaiting,but then I thought it hardly mattered,he was totally non-punctual as it is.My dress was a crumpled mess,and so I re-dressed (not that I was the girlie toy who would dress up 2000 times if you asked her to do so) I got into those black and silver belles that he had gifted me some months back, short black skirt,and a red corset.Man! It was chill...and thus I had a denim waist coat on,and immediately I was up on my scooty,ready to go to my beloved CCD!
He was there.Sitting and looking around like a lost puppy, like old times. He saw me,and stood up with wide eyes,and immediately opened his mouth,and then looked at me from up to down,and he shut it again.I went on and hugged him.
It felt so formal,as if I was meeting him for the first time.But who cared? I got to see him after some ages,which seemed a boon in itself. I said "Hey..why looking so lost?"
His mouth turned into a small (mind you,a shy and small) smile."Looking for my girl"
The first two words of his 4-word sentence sounded bliss,but the last two were like...er..disastrous.
And then my eyes met her eyes.My gray eyes stared deep into her dark brown eyes.She sort of winked at me,and smiled...broadly.On the other hand,I looked at her,as if I had seen some piece of dead animal from the roadside.It was a deep grave,and cold..really cold stare.But before I could question her or anything,she went and sat in the chair next to him.The one which was like hardly an inch away from him,and she (that jerk) gave him a kiss on his cheek.Okay,I'm not supposed to feel bad of this,am I? I don't care what this guy had been upto.His life,wusn't it? And before I could voice my thoughts,he spoke up-
"This is Aleenah,my girlfriend"
It hit me.Oh yeah,it did.More stronger than it felt like to have a iron falling on your leg,and more dead than it felt to see a rat climbing on you.It bloody hit me.But still,in order to be a good friend,I cordially shook hands with her and said "Hi,I'm his old friend".
She smiled,and got up and hugged me,as if she knew me from some ages.She opened her mouth to say something,but before she could,I said-"Glad to see you both,but sorry,I have some bit of work.Gotta go"
About ten days after on the 3rd of February. I got a call from his number. I received it, but it wasn’t him on the line, it was aunty. She was crying, she was sounding miserable. The first line she spoke after she controlled herself was, “he died”. I said, “Aunty if that’s a joke, it’s not at all funny”. But she cried hopelessly and hung up.
I locked myself up cried the whole day and went to my mom at night. “How did it happen?” I asked. Mom said nothing. I shook her, she began to cry and handed me his diary. I read the last few pages. He had drawn things which very hardly legible. But what was legible was that on every page he wrote “life sucks" or something similar to that. He committed suicide.
He needed me, I failed to understand. He wanted me to stay, I left. He silence was demanding of more condolences but I spoke none. I failed.I was a murderer,I deserved to die.He didn't love Aleena either.Oh god,how could have I been so weird.
Current song :- Tum ho toh - Rock on