My rockstar .

We were great friends..since around 7 years.Wow.Life was great when you were with him.He was a star,mind you STAR! It was a pleasure to talk with him,fight with him,and even sing hoarse songs with him.That was life,man.Those years spent with my "bestest buddy".Whenever I'd dress up and move out for college,he'd be there waiting on his bike,giving his cherubic smile and extra long "HEYYYYYYYYYYY!".And oh yes,the day was assured to be a disaster if I didn't see his face in the morning.If in case,he'd ask me something and I'd not reply,he'd act like a kid,and stop talking.But still,life was so perfect.But there's something about perfection that makes it imperfect! It was impossible to stay without talking with him,even for a day,that is.
After a month or so,he got into JHC,and went away to Bombay,and I,the lawyer,was busy studying in Bangalore.We did promise to meet,but come on,it was so like impossible.We met up,but hardly once in two months.Life was okay..it hardly mattered,as we (or precisely I) forgot that life was empty without somethings and people.
I told you no,how life had a habit of making perfect moments non-perfect?
Oh yes that crap thing..it made us meet! Sounds so great,no? It did,to me as well.I got a message on my mobile,which a long HEYYYY! which at once made me recognize that from whom the message was.I nearly jumped with excitment and started replying,until a phone call suddenly came on it."Heyloo Aunty" I immediately recognized his voice and spoke "HEY DUDE!" .."Oh yeah! 5 months and finalllly! "
"You forgot about me,didn't you",he spoke,mockingly.
"Oh yeah..who the heck cares about a dumbwit like you?"
"Hahahha..your sarcasm.By the way,on to the point! Mama's marriage coming up,and even Mom's birhday is round the corner,so we decieded to come to Bangalore for some time!"
"JEEZ! Really?!!!",I literally shouted with glee.
"Stop screaming,you jackass!",his smile could be felt in my ears even via those long thread of communication called PHONE WIRES.
"Haha..okay,dude.We'll meet up somewhere.How'd CCD be? Remember ...our old hang out place in Delhi?"
"Yup,sure..I'll bring some friends along,don't mind,do you?"
"Hell no!",I laughed.
It sounded so weird that he asked me to bring his "friends" along..All he had were insane friends. I pretty well knew it would some of his rowdy gang of guys coming up.

So the 3rd of February finally came up! Yippeee..it was one day when I got up without any alarm hanging around my lazy ass to wake me up.I was way too ecstatic today! As immediately as I was awake,I dressed up,and within an hour or so,I was totally dressed up in a hip way,head to toe.I look up my watch,it was around 10:00 a.m.3 more hours. Time sticks around when you're really waiting for the moment.
I slept for the sake of passing my time,as even blogging on my computer (which to tell you,was my favourite pass time) seemed really boring and monotonous.I got up at 1:30 .
Okay.Damn me,I am one big time sleeper.I was late to the thing I was awaiting,but then I thought it hardly mattered,he was totally non-punctual as it is.My dress was a crumpled mess,and so I re-dressed (not that I was the girlie toy who would dress up 2000 times if you asked her to do so) I got into those black and silver belles that he had gifted me some months back, short black skirt,and a red corset.Man! It was chill...and thus I had a denim waist coat on,and immediately I was up on my scooty,ready to go to my beloved CCD!
He was there.Sitting and looking around like a lost puppy, like old times. He saw me,and stood up with wide eyes,and immediately opened his mouth,and then looked at me from up to down,and he shut it again.I went on and hugged him.
It felt so formal,as if I was meeting him for the first time.But who cared? I got to see him after some ages,which seemed a boon in itself. I said "Hey..why looking so lost?"
His mouth turned into a small (mind you,a shy and small) smile."Looking for my girl"
The first two words of his 4-word sentence sounded bliss,but the last two were like...er..disastrous.
And then my eyes met her eyes.My gray eyes stared deep into her dark brown eyes.She sort of winked at me,and smiled...broadly.On the other hand,I looked at her,as if I had seen some piece of dead animal from the roadside.It was a deep grave,and cold..really cold stare.But before I could question her or anything,she went and sat in the chair next to him.The one which was like hardly an inch away from him,and she (that jerk) gave him a kiss on his cheek.Okay,I'm not supposed to feel bad of this,am I? I don't care what this guy had been upto.His life,wusn't it? And before I could voice my thoughts,he spoke up-
"This is Aleenah,my girlfriend"
It hit me.Oh yeah,it did.More stronger than it felt like to have a iron falling on your leg,and more dead than it felt to see a rat climbing on you.It bloody hit me.But still,in order to be a good friend,I cordially shook hands with her and said "Hi,I'm his old friend".
She smiled,and got up and hugged me,as if she knew me from some ages.She opened her mouth to say something,but before she could,I said-"Glad to see you both,but sorry,I have some bit of work.Gotta go"
About ten days after on the 3rd of February. I got a call from his number. I received it, but it wasn’t him on the line, it was aunty. She was crying, she was sounding miserable. The first line she spoke after she controlled herself was, “he died”. I said, “Aunty if that’s a joke, it’s not at all funny”. But she cried hopelessly and hung up.

I locked myself up cried the whole day and went to my mom at night. “How did it happen?” I asked. Mom said nothing. I shook her, she began to cry and handed me his diary. I read the last few pages. He had drawn things which very hardly legible. But what was legible was that on every page he wrote “life sucks" or something similar to that. He committed suicide.
He needed me, I failed to understand. He wanted me to stay, I left. He silence was demanding of more condolences but I spoke none. I failed.I was a murderer,I deserved to die.He didn't love Aleena either.Oh god,how could have I been so weird.

Current song :- Tum ho toh - Rock on


  1. hmmm...very sad post...loved the build-up but i guess i was expecting a "lost love found" ending....very interesting read anyways...

    ps: u still dint tell me how u found my poem...!! :(

  2. oh...and i dont know the "child's thoughts" nirmal yet...

    i was inspired by the "Nimmy" Nirmal in my blogroll...!! :)

  3. why???????
    u cud have jus left it at a love triangle...waz wid dis obsession of a sad endin...

    but none d less...another masterpiece from d masterpiece herself...

    damn u r half my age n 100 times more talented...n somehow i feel really nice knowin dat...knowin dat i know u :)

  4. Oh baby!

    Life does make us feel weird about ourselves.. Beautiful narration; as always..

  5. that was beautiful... n thanks for your comment :)

  6. Loved the ending. Nicely writted. Rolling ya rit away:)

  7. :O:( not fair ya...
    sad indeed but wonderfully written...

  8. Is this something that happened in ur life Crystal? if so, HUGS!

    I hv lost a friend to Suicide...a very close friend...and its one of the most devastating things to deal with. I'll never get over it. U always keep asking WHY.


  9. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..u didnt have to kill him off in d end!! :(((((((

  10. Quite the dramatic ending, low on probability ratings, but high on reader ratings, usually at least! :D
    Good post, Crystal!

  11. nicely done sissy :)..but u dint have to kill him :P...its little emotional...but good ..loved it sissy :)..


  12. awww sad!!!!!!!!!!!! I am having a hard life :(

  13. very nicely written, I thought i am reading ur life, but I prefer happy endings:)

  14. what the fish... well narrated...

  15. Well done,
    Nice post, Ayu.
    But a sad ending don't you think?

  16. veryyyyyyy well written ...profound knowledge and art of story telling

    keep up :)
    got here glued

  17. i hope it was fiction.

    i am waiting for your reply.

  18. Lovely my dear lovely.Cud connect totally and wid Rock on around cant see why ppl wudnt relate to it.Nice very nice....

  19. Thanks for your kind comments on my blog about my art. This sounds very depressing, but it looks like your a very good blogger!

  20. @ Vinay,
    Sadness gives happiness to me. :\


    And people who're better than me in poetry can certainly giv you better reviews

  21. @ Vinay again,
    Okay..I don't know this "Nimmy" person.Sowwie

  22. @ Mayz,
    Nothing with the "obsession" of sad endings.
    Thankyou very much.

  23. @ Express,
    I agree with you,dude.
    Life's a meanie!

  24. @ Keshim
    ***Is this something that happened in ur life Crystal?


    And I know..losing a friend who committed suicide..it sucks.

  25. @ Trinaa,
    'Cos I love killing people !

    Bah..m a Vamp,you see.

  26. @ Renu,
    My life? lol
    No..I like happy endings

  27. @ Chriz,

    ***What the fish


    Crap you :P

  28. @ Riversoul,
    Get knw to my love with sad endings.I so love 'em! :)

  29. @ Sayani,
    Hey..I like yr name.
    And thnx

  30. did this happen to u hon?...boy i have been thru this myself...just not the suicide bit...upto the part where the three are at ccd.... :(

  31. sad sad... very "awww fish"-ish .. and that with a very shocked expression. brilliant build up and an unexpected end. nice!

    linking you on mine.

  32. I have cancer :( and I lost my mother and father!

  33. Wait. I don't get it at all. Where was there an indication that he needed you? And why did he commit suicide?

  34. u murderer....hehehee

    well done....but dont kill good guys gal..

  35. Thank god its only a story:) but u really written well, and i dont know why this young generation has this fascination for black genre and sad endings, will anybody be kind enough to tell me?

  36. wow...tum toh ek dum fiction expert ho gyi ho....loved the beginning ...ending thodi dramatic thi but I liked it aneways...

    well done :)

    and i love the song...tum ho toh.....

  37. Girl....the end of this story gave a shiver down my spine.......Very well-written.....
    I wonder when would I start writting like this.....

  38. @ Aphro,
    Nahi baby..its TOTALLY fictional :)

  39. @ All those who I didn't reply to,

    Sorry guys..migrane problemo..will reply later :(

  40. shit ...life sucks ..but plz tell me this ain't a real story ..im the gulliblest fool on earth

  41. @ Kaylee,
    That really shook me up..m very sorry.

  42. @ Sol,
    When I went to meet him at CCD he was sad,but I failed to see it.
    He didn't love his gf..his love was for me only..and thus,when he got sick of his incomplete life..he committted suicide!

  43. @ Nirmal,
    LOL..bt killing girls hurts naa ! =D

  44. :( It urts the most when a you loose a friend just because he lost the will to fight...and you couldn't help...
    It hurts! And I know how much..

  45. @Renu,
    ****i dont know why this young generation has this fascination for black genre and sad endings,

    who told you tht for God's sake?..nthing of the kind,woman! :P

  46. @ DD,
    ****wow...tum toh ek dum fiction expert ho gyi ho...

    Oyee jeee..thnkoooo! :)

  47. @ Diana,

    To write sad stuff,you need a fatal blow...God forbid tht anything of the sort happens to you..tc :)

    and welcome here

  48. @ Sachi,

    Hieee..welcome back!
    ***It hurts! And I know how much..

    Something happened,ryt?
    take care my friend

  49. Ahaa!!
    my sweetie pie Aayushi...what a lovely n senti post. The story had love, sadness, faith, subtle humor n numerous emotions unsaid.
    Well done;)

    And ya though the comment below doesn't go with the sensitivity of the post bt lemme say
    >>not that I was the girlie toy who would dress up 2000 times if you asked her to do so<<
    this was very funny n true.


  50. Well, I would say, I liked your reply to Vinay " sadness gives happiness to me" more than the entire post.He who loves himself has no rivals right ? (was some Orkut fourtune of the day probably) :)

    Anyways, coming back to the post.I think it would not be mature to accuse oneself of having not been there for the guy.I mean, its different when people are young.Our circle of people is small and we give chunk of attention to the selected few.Growing up implies more people and hence smaller chunks of attention (I got reminded of the movie My best friends wedding..).Still,its not the logic that works out everything for us.

    I believe you did a decent jog and i will award you 7.8 out of 10,if asked to.Narration was powerful and so was the organisation part.Semantics have never been an issue with you and you have lived upto your impression.A decent piece of work Ayushi! Keep it up

  51. Good narration. For sometime I was thinking that it was real, as I found the ending so abrupt.
    Nice read.:)
    And hey thanx for visiting.

  52. dunno what to say...nicely written with a right dash of all d ingredients:)
    u do seem 2 hv a thing 4 sad endings:(

  53. This was a particularly hard one for me to read baybeh!!
    But you've narrated it so well

  54. I'm speechless.......
    That was a masterpiece....reminded me of some of the people I've lost in the journey....it really sucks!
    Anyways.........I'm back to blogging!
    Check out my space.....

  55. Im glad its not real.



  56. Anyways if "he needed her", why did he let his new 'friend' tag along to their meeting? :P

    Hmm I guess your story has 'realism' in that regard. It would not be a very big surprise if person with that kind of convoluted, confused thinking commits suicide I think. Perfect profile! ;)

  57. gud narration gal . m reminded of dis article in outlook whr somebdy commented dat 13 is de new 18.

    & hey i so totally luvd ur singledom post dearie..

  58. hmm..sad..i thought it would end like Jaane tu! :p
    with the girl getting the guy!;-)

  59. @ Aru,
    Glad you liked it!

  60. @ Mishra,

    I respect wht you said..
    **7.8 out of 10,

    I consider tht "good"..;)

  61. @ Mitra,
    And welcme here!

  62. @ CN,
    Aaw..soorry bhai!
    I'll do a happy ending is baar..pakkkaaa! :)

  63. @ FS,
    So you're back..I will just be thr!

  64. *applause* i liked it :)

  65. @ deepti and aninosaintlife,

    thnkyou thnkyoUU!!! :))


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