What I'd wish for.

Woke up around 5 to feed myself the otherworldly echo of the namaaz at the Mosque nearby. Religious or not, I loved how my room was momentarily flooded with energy and serenity as the faith perhaps peeped through the rugged old white windows. It all happened today, after I had been lectured about faith, belief, religion since ages by you. It took effect when you left. Intriguing, no?
Again, like all other mornings, I washed my face and looked up the mirror to find you staring back at me. One part of the other always continues to live on in the other. Always.
Like a fool, I remember standing at the bus stop twice, waiting for you to pick me up. Too late the realization dawned upon me that no one is going to pick and drop me for a while. Darn the bills I will have to pay. Ha.
Just before moving out, I was picking up a scarf for myself. (Deep purple, maybe) My eyes met a red and black tie at that very moment. The one you wore for your graduation. Ouch. Even materialism can give give us pain- Imagine. Was going to clean my cupboard before leaving, no more. Can't bear to put off the collage you gave me. The neon-bordered beauty is still hung on its side. Guess its too late.Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Sometimes from "you" and "I" a "we" is not destined. Six months post the split with you, I still cannot acknowledge the aforesaid for us. Of course you believe we were never destined to be.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,
For me, it happens all the time
I'd want to mend the glass and put the pieces together. Maybe with a glue of togetherness, understanding. We had time, ample of it. What went wrong? No one will know. Ever.

On the bus, I thought of the dinner I'd cook. Alone, as usual. It has started to pain. Severely. Please don't bother. No one cares. Anyway, maybe after dinner, I'll sit in the balcony for a while. Read the J.D Robb I'm halfway through or maybe write some more. About just about anything. Maybe, even us.
And if I see a shooting star, the world will know what I wished for.


  1. TOO GOOOD! guess it reminds a lot of people of that stupid old ex, or maybe not so stupid old ex.
    i loved every bit..specially the tie part! too awesome detaiiiiiiiiling :D

  2. Sometimes from "you" and "I" a "we" is not destined...This is the slip between the cup n lip..nice read!

  3. yeah the mosuq/namaz/aazaan part is true :) i know that
    and aye haye bina love/breakup ke how the heck can you write about all this so chaukasly ..!

    and the shooting star part ....mmmm no it is not beautiful it is thought provoking looks very sombre but its hard kick climax- i like i like :)

    and and and glue of togetherness ...! <3

  4. @ Shamia,
    Thanks re. I'm so happy you're coming around despite the hiatus! Mwahh! Thanks againn. <3

    @ Rahul ji,
    It is indeed!
    Thank you :)

    @ Suvaiba,
    Ee. I am sorry again yar. I suck, I know. :/
    The shooting star part! I got inspired by the song by B.O.B.:) Hear it.
    and thanks! Plus, I told you, its all imagination. Pure pure imagination!

  5. na. I cant read beyond 'standing at the bus stop twice, waiting for you to pick me up'
    Saary! Can't afford to go back into 'that mode' :)

  6. Prianca,
    Welcome here and thank you :)

    Hm.. I totally understand re. Could bring many to that mode, but it cannot be avoided, no?

  7. "Deep Purple....Red and Black" All...colors of love, growing out of it and the pain that crosses your heart, without a sound. I love the way you write Crystal... It's seriously... I love it! :D :D

  8. Your writing! Gosh, it makes me want to read more and more. It's just amazing. The emptiness we feel when a person leaves.. The memories.. It's too good :)

  9. MSM,
    Your comments and of course you are ridiculously cute and make me ridiculously happy :D
    I hope you can see through the reply that I was smiling. :P
    PS: This is not to return favours. mean it. :)

    OMG thank you SO much!
    I knoww. There are many entries and exits in life, but few leave a huge void, such as this, which someone can rarely fill.

  10. I know, you would smile, when I was posting the comment. That is what I wanted :D :D Hehe! :) :) See, your Blog has everything I love - From Pentagram to Crystal to Emotions - some dark and deep...and some that touch the soul straight! :D :D And love, I know you mean it...what favors? :D :D

    PS: Don't worry. You shall not be hurt... :D :D

  11. ahan...so I see Crysty all romantic these days..but why do they end in a sad way? Well..I guess coz this is more of a reality than anything else could be~ Stories of heartbreaks pinch me, coz it scares me if I could ever share "my loyalty" returned with gratitude the very way I'd offer to someone...
    loved this line: "One part of the other always continues to live on in the other. Always."...and yes that is why they say that space is the heart can never be filled by anyone else..it always remains empty and hollow...

    write sumthing happy na,,,??:\..pleesh? all fine at ur end?
    PS: I like qawwalis and kun faya is on my mind and heart these days..

  12. @ MSM,
    You are too cute. I MEAN IT! I was wondering if you were a Cancerian and then I checked. Taurean! Yay. I have two super good Taurean friends, not that it is relevant, but still :P
    I love thee and thy blog too. :*
    Bahut pyaar ho gaya ab. Bas karo. ^_^

    @ Aakriti,
    The one scheduled next is romantic too. Its weird no? Me writing about love without having ever experienced it? Hmm. And dont worry, next one shall have a happy ending :)
    And its all fictitious, my blog posts rarely have a relation with me or my life.:)
    Whoaaaa. I love Kun faaya too. BIGGGG time :) Hear Shehar mei from Rockstar, its cute. And qawaalis, my favourite is Arziyan-Delhi 6! Sun ley :)

  13. Sorry I haven't stalked your blog in a while :(

    Um. Memories. Are just.. No.

  14. There was a contentment when you started with namaaz and i love that part.
    The feeling of being alone is so viciously reflected in your words." I thought of the dinner I'd cook. Alone, as usual"
    If you are in pain coz of your "ex" then pull yourself out of these sinking feelings for thought we both know thinking about the past will fetch nothing good in the future..
    About the post i love the way you write and you know this very well. Here, the last line really moved me.
    Take care gal :)

  15. Awe !! fiction ? and i thought something else..
    I am glad if its not real :)

  16. Oh My God, ladki! This brought tears! I have my own reasons for the tears but this is beautiful and is such a touching piece.
    While I was reading this, I was also listening to "Ik Tu Hi, Tu Hi" Mausam wala and By God, I felt like running away somewhere.
    Such strong emotions, this one evoked.
    I Love You, re! :*
    And, thank you so, so much for the birthday wishes. The wishes and the mention, really made my day.
    Thank you! :*

  17. "Even materialism can give give us pain" ~ Well ain't this the truth?! Just like an aroma or a song, it all takes us back to a place of pain or love, instantly!

    After reading your writings, I always sit here for a few moments and ponder where you'll be 10 years from now, since the talent is THIS awesome TODAY! No doubt, you'll have a best seller out there ... and mine will hopefully have your autograph inside ;D

    Another *brilliant* piece of art, honey! Loved it! ♥ !

  18. @ MSM,
    Hehehe :*

    @ Ovais,
    Yes. Mean, you. :(
    Ugly memories .. i understand.

    @ Reicha,
    It is one hundred percent fictitious.
    I would probably ponder about my ex (if he existed at all) for a long while though .. and I don't really know if I'd ever write about him like this.
    Don't you worry, it has nothing to do with me, and thaaaanks :)

  19. @ Anuranjani.
    Aw! I love Rabba from Mausam. But these days I am hooked insanely to Rockstar's songs. Kun faaya, tum ho, Shehar mei. :D
    and waow, I'm glad you connected to this. My purpose seems fulfilled :)
    arey koi nai re, I was going to write a post as a matter of fact and then grew to lazy and resorted to this. :S
    Happy birthdaay againnn. how was it? :*

    @ Finny,
    If I write a book, I promise to mention you on the very first page. :D
    *gets wishful and starts letting her mind wander*
    Thank you SO much! I am more than glad you liked it.

  20. This one cuts through my heart!
    Not always is the 'you' and 'i' destined to be 'we'...
    Sad realization , nonetheless an important one!

    this post had a cutting edge, a razor sharp one..:)

  21. you're so bloody expressive, havnt i told u a million times? i envy you SO SO badly! give me a pinch of that talent and id be kind of the world na universe na MILKY WAY :D
    And if I see a shooting star, the world will know what I wished for.
    this was insanely cute..and who'd you wish for? bataiyey zara :P

  22. Grain of sand,
    I wish the cut doesn't hurt, that's not the intention. Its just a reminder of the past. Maybe a slightly ugly past for some people, too.
    Thanks, SO much. :)

    yes. A million times. :D
    and nai nai, talent hona bhi chiayae dene ke liyae. -__-
    Thanks re thanks thanks. :D

  23. The melancholy, the emptiness, the regret - it all came through so beautifully.

  24. Hey thanks for visiting my blog and appreciate my posts and i must say i like your writing style..:)

  25. Welcome here Purba and Shoaib. and thank you :)

  26. I love the way u put up a post in all its uniqueness. Love the pic u have chosen, so apt.

  27. Ur welcome dear I am your follower now..:)

  28. Ria,
    Deviantart, as always. :D
    Thank you so much.

    Elated. Thanks a lot :]

  29. Well written, captured the emotion post a breakup very colorfully.

  30. OMG Crystal.. This was so awesome. The pan, the memories, won't let go na? You and I transition is something we can hope for, but may be it isn't worth it or may be it was. Who knows?! Ummm picture perfect memories, materialism, for me even music brings back memories, knowingly unknowingly.. Sometimes you don't want it to fade..The pain is bad. Well.. umm I'll stop ranting here.. I loved this piece.. You're an amazing writer.. You really are! :D

  31. @ AS,
    Thank you so much.
    Guess its the things around me. Too many break ups.

    @ Confused Soul,
    Its difficult to let go at times. Always easier said that done :)
    and the parts in Italics is from the song by Lady Antebellum-Need you now.
    Thanks a lot re. Thanks soo much!

  32. Awww..cystal darling this is too GOOD..the way you weaved those memories into words..makes it beautiful in every way :)

    Best lines;

    ...looked up the mirror to find you staring back at me.One part of the other always continues to live on in the other. Always.

    ''Can't bear to put off the collage you gave me''.

    I too wish I could mend the glass and put the pieces together,maybe with a glue of togetherness,understanding.

    ah..I felt something after reading this,maybe a sense of relatedness,maybe :) and the song Need you now is my fav :D

    The last lines of this post makes me nod and smile like a lot

  33. :D
    It was fun! I reached at 10, so no party but these people surprised me by all they could do in the hostel. I was so, so over-whelmed!
    And, thank you! You are a darling! :*

  34. @ TOSM,
    Ain't you a baby? My baby? :*
    And to think these memories don't exist, I'm writing about love without experiencing it. weird, no?
    Thank you SO much! I love you, terribly.

    @ Anuranjani,
    Woohoo! :D Midnight fun sounds awesome. I'm yet to feel the hostel insanity -.-
    And you're a darling too. Geeli poochie :*

  35. I have memories that I wish would disappear. I don't want to remember some of those times with my exes or with my ex-friends because it makes me sad to think about what I have lost.

    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

  36. Though u do say its purely fictitious...its hard for me to understand where is the place where these kinda thoughts are emerging...?? which part of ur unconscious (i wonder)??;)
    Yup have listened to arziyan as well..but kun faya kun is magical!!

    PS: I'll ask too ( like Richa) :D hw old are you?? coz u seem way too mature to me in ur thinking!:)

  37. Loved it, loved it... novel, come on its time to sit down and produce a nice novel.. you seem to be producing one blog post after another in an effortless fashion ohh talented one, brilliant stuff..

    Oh yes, those post breakup thoughts, those special items, those reminders.. I always remember some wise words I was once told.. "If its in the past and it didnt last, then theres no doubt, you should chuck it out".. Its easier said than done..

    Great write again, quality stuff ;)

  38. Ah the pain!! the harsh pain!!
    I can so relate to this one..Its scary!!
    U have quite a way with words my lady! Sry for commenting late

  39. The emptiness does remain, but then at a point we have to regain ourselves :)

  40. @ Bonnie,
    Its about moving on. However tough it may seem. :)
    Tc. <3

    @ Aakriti,
    I think its the experiences of people around me and my own thought process about these issue that spur and weave such words together.
    And both the songs, when heard with your eyes closed-DIVINE!
    I'm 16 :D

    @ Paul,
    Ah! You're TOO kind. I've always dream t of writing a novel, maybe I do end up producing one. -.-
    and that's a great quote to live by! Super like!
    Thank you so much! There are so many amazing commentators here, its difficult to adjudge the best one :D

    @ Red,
    Not a problem. :)
    and hmm, we do find connections here and there .. sorry if the memory hurt.

    @ Philo,

  41. @ your comment: You read what happened :P
    Glad you like the title :D

  42. Crytallllllllllllll!!!,

    I DO NOT ignore your blog!! No way! I redirect friends over, I share it on Facebook and etc etc. I will be regular with comments now too! :) Sorry if you felt that way. I love Pentagram! :D

  43. Philo,
    I did get it. I was just too aghast too accept and absorb it :P

    Aaaaaw :*
    Still. You're not allowed to ignore my posts. Never ever. :D

  44. it's quite a lovely read. romantic and sentimental and dreamy but all so real too. what a mood.

  45. At times like these, the line ' everything happens for a reason' seems so annoying but its true perhaps. Memories can either haunt, torture us or make us happy.

  46. @ Ed,
    Thank you so much.
    When it comes from an exemplary writer, I feel elated!

    @ Ayesha,
    I agree.
    Guess we have to quit recollecting the ones that torture us.

  47. Materialism can give us pain, so profound. Wallah, you write so well, each sentence has its own depth, so many stories woven in to one short story....

  48. I was indeed missing something..it seems...by being away from reading.. :P

    The post..kinda gives a same feeling..as the latest one on Zebra Talk. :)

    Painful. Sad. But All beautiful.

    Sometimes from "you" and "I" a "we" is not destined.

    I'd want to mend the glass and put the pieces together. Maybe with a glue of togetherness, understanding.

    These will stick with me. Surely.

    Best Wishes :)

  49. "And if I see a shooting star, the world will know what I wished for."
    By the time I finished reading this I was seriously left speechless. Your writing is very powerful. EXCELLENT!

  50. That is my favourite line too! :D
    Thanks a lottt, HZK! Your comments are muchhh appreciated.

  51. Heart-wrenching. Oh goddd, ur so little, and sucha terrific writer. Phew. I finished reading everything on this blog, i havent missed ANYTHING i swear. Ur writing is enigmatic. Casts a beautiful spell around me, when i am reading. Deep, Dark, but hauntingly beautiful.Ur a stunner with Your words. Your the wordsmith.

    Keep walking.

  52. Good post, Crystal!

    I loved it totally. =)

    And I love that song too!!

  53. TWISHAAAAA! Thank you! You made my day, no week :D
    Keep writing.
    Much love

    Vinati, Gee. Same :)

    Butterfly, Thank you so much. :)

  54. Tooooooo awesome, i so love the way you have mentioned about lost memories, your narration was such that it painted an entire situation, i really loved it, the shooting star bit, waiting at the bus stop ...hmmmmm .. lovely

  55. I more I read of you the more I'm convinced that you should consider writing a small collection of short stories or something. Because this kinda emotion deserves a bigger platform.

    And I love that song. Need You Now, Lady Antebellum.
    AND you have managed to pick out my most favorite-st line of all, as well:)

  56. Thank you Menachery and PeeVee.
    And I loveeeeee Lady Antebellum <3


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