When he walks away ..

That moment when you lose track of life. You're going too slow and its almost blazing past. Maybe, somewhere, you didn't try that hard.
You don't ever want to let that feeling sink in. That image, that ugly memory of you watching his pulse dying.
You want to sit, recollect those innumerous , silent conversations, maybe even attempt to fix his gaze in your mind. Even when the world falls down on your little shoulders, you want to believe he will come to your rescue. You simply do not want to break away from those hands that have held you so warmly through out your life. Its amazing how a moment turns life upside down. A moment brings the tint of life from white to gray. The man was your Hero. The way he defined perfection, and demanded it too. How, when you were small you wanted your Ideal Man to be like him. Yes, he commanded respect too. But also let you get away with the mischief, sometimes saving you from bash ups too. He was stern, only because he wanted to save the fragile, little you from a cruel, tragic world.

He never gave up on you, but now you have a haunting image ahead of you. It appalls you, threatens your memory and you want to erase it. But too late.

You see the same man struggling for life, breathing his last. That broad frame of his, as it now shrivels to skin and bones You want to believe it never happened, close your eyes again as if you woke up from a nasty dream. Its not your past, you cannot shut down a door at it.

You only weep as you see your Father's corpse being carried away, being buried away ..
You want to believe it never happened, and then again .. you have to.

The loss of a father is perhaps, one of the greatest and most severe. Keep my friend's father in your dua/prayers today. Please :)