Trust me, with no emotions of joy, sorrow, love or lust. You will never feel this post.
Like someone takes all the layers of your skin off..one by one, slowly.. with the speed by which the crystal clock gayily perched on her room's black and white wallpaper and said "4:30 a.m"..with the same motion did she feel that a sharp and thick knife was slowly being pierced into her skin and the suffering became inevitable..with each breath she took, she felt as if someone was slowly cutting off the oxygen supply which had given put in some life in her for a change. The red lamp in her room gave her the feeling that she had entered hell right away..and the Devil was laughing on her hysterically for her sin. She didn't know what to do except for piercing a blade into her left vein. Sudden reveries of what had happened the night ego kept flashing in her minds, and with each arriving moment, she felt as if the whimpering and comparitively dark piece of light coming in from the window was distracted by the smoke which kept coming out from her cigarette. She rubs them off, but the clear view has gone forever. The second she turns in her bed, she feels the sensation that she's been put on a bed of razors. She wants to walk, but her organs, specially her heart have stopped showing mercy, and slowly penetrates into her soul, a fear, a fear of her secret being known to the world.
She's captured in clutches of slavery, and by each passing breath, she feels them become shorter by the second. The blade which she put in her left wrist hurts like hell, but there's no pain which can make THE pain subtle. The most eeries silence surrounds her, and into her eyes she can sense the dread entering..the dread which has made a lot of women suffer.Veins slowly turn green, and she can literally "feel" the mental vacuum. She had nothing, absolutely nothing to lay her head on, except maybe some gentle memories, which now hurt, rather than putting a gentle hand on her. The aura which once enlightened her soul is now her biggest enemy, and the pain slowly starts getting into her heart. The aura isn't friendly anymore..it slowly takes her conscience away.
Was this destined to be? Laughter,joy,sorrow,love,friendship,hatred..all feelings have betrayed her..nothing remains, not even a tiny bit of faith. The faith was murdered brutally the very day she realized her blunder. And did someone say that mistakes are forgiven? Certainly not this one.Her body is considerably numb, and the pain is going away, not because she feels any calmth but because her last breath had been finally aken away. Not giving her any sadness, but just a reassurance that the insult will be of no one, not even her "Soulmate" who decieved her.This is what a girl who has to abort her child feels like.
This is my point of view..how ugly it may be...but sigh.
