Adieu

To all the people who care :-

I admire the people I met here. Its been like the best experience. Maybe I'm back to my beloved blog. and to you great people , but for now, I need a change. I'm just not takin' a break, I'm going away. I wanted to make this grand and happy, but nothing is beautiful. I remember growing angry and irritated from bloggers when I saw them making comments on a person's nature/ personal life. And maybe, even though I've been bad to some people here. (I ain't taking no names. They know it) but I've learnt some lessons here. I can't list them all, but they have always had an influence on my impressionable mind with their words. But now, everything seems absurd, and maybe.. it's time to say goodbye.


Miss you all.


Aayushi
(You're free to mail me..*id on my profile*...but I don't gaurantee you a response, cos I've been irregular with the Internet )

Dying faith

"A flickering glow inside refuses to die
How many times will you stir it hard?
Hope may fade, but someone continues to live"

Similar indifferences.

Someone sits with the fresh mehendi adorned on her hands. The smell of incense prevails in the entire room, which is enlightened with golden bulbs all around, and the red satin curtains draped on the antique windows, seem to be dancing along with the sound of the dholak outside. She sits and looks at her diamond ring, perched on her ring finger, and looking as marvellous as ever. There were giggles from her friends next door, all making parodies of "serious" old movies. The outside is crowded with people, someone is making the sweets, and drowning himself in the jubilant and mirthful atmosphere which surrounded him. Someone was taking out critics of nealy everything her eyes met, and interrogated all about everything, and poking their nose in everything they could figure out was interesting, and irrespective of the glances they got, enjoying every moment of it. Lightbulbs adorned every corner of the Manor House, and each part of it shouted with glee. Someone was all worried if the invitations had reached the right people, and someone was too involved in checking if the red bag or the black matched her dress. Squeals from adolescents, and a grandmother following them with a cane stick. They were common sights. Common but happy.








Somewhere, the walls of the house had grown numb, the white color had become even more pale, as the colors of someone's life were slowly fading away. An elderly woman shocked from the incident, sat with her lower half paralyzed, and slowly crawled from one end of the room to the other, even though her brain, and every part of it, had lost any sensations and feelings in them to move for even an inch. The surroundings seemed to have been weeping with an abysmal misery. There were children here too, but even their impressionable minds had got the feeling that there was no good happening here, and even they refused to continue their game of Hide and Seek. Maybe because mirth, joy, and bliss, they had all hidden themselves somewhere, and made themselves to tough to be seeked. She was sitting on her bed, with absolutely no soul surrounding her. Her grief stricken mother-in-law had rightly said "People who die get their life's bliss, but they leave us fighting for the lost bliss in our life, which gradually turn dead". Just yesterday he was by her side, and she had kept her head in his strong arms, in which she could weep, she could laugh. Now, it was different, there were no comforting arms around her, just she, her stupefied feelings. It had to happen with everyone, it was common but sad.


Life offers us complete contrasts, at times. Where someone sits happily, waiting for the wedding bells to knock on her door, someone is immune to the happiness, as her soul weeps to have to burn the corpse of the same man who she loved from her heart.
People say we're responsible for our own happiness and sadness, but at so many instances, we have no way out to get out of such times. Maybe..life's too weird .

What holds me back..

~ You want me to attain Nirvana,
A bliss from the world's odds and blacks,
But how do you suppose me to do that?
Its your love that ties me back ~

Faith

*Sighs real bad*

Yes, exams are over, and I am oh-so-back-to-action.
So just before I tell you that I visted nearly 20 blogs in the last 52 mins. 26 seconds.



-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*



Let the things perish away, and even when everything perished right ahead my eyes, I still smiled to myself, because I knew there was a hand which was holding me so firmly that it would never ever let go off me. The same pair of hazel eyes, which held the calmth of the world inside them, and the same arms which caressed me while I stood on the hill top and watched the horizon breaking and the sun bid adieu, and our Angel the white diamond took its place in the serene black sky, and the stars came twinkling so bright, that you really needed something to cover your eyes. We would sit there, looking into each others eyes. The eye contact was not all that happened, it was beyond it. Two bodies one soul" sounds so old, and used and re-used, but that was just what happened with us, right?
We would run in those fields of tulips for miles, throwing water at each other from the ponds near the field. And yes, we still made paper boats and happily watched them cross the pond, and we would clap like anything when they crossed the pond. People would mistake us to be in love, but we always laughed at the fact that a girl and guy were never regarded as good "friends".
So life was the most picture perfect one, with absolutely no trifles, but sigh, someone so rightly said "Perfection is the biggest and trifles lead to perfection!"

The last time I saw him was in the grip of pain, at the sanatorium, still smiling so broadly that you could not in anyway make out what trauma he had just gone through. Not a single breath was drawn in the room, and silence which made me want to burst down crying was all around. It was high time that I would burst with the pain which I felt seeing him like that. Maybe he sensed that there were teardrops pooling inside my heart, and before I could mumble a world, he held my hand and whispered, still too much wounded to speak,
" I've fought for my country all my life, and the fact that I couldn't fight with my own feelings still kills me inside; before the dark hole of this cruel world gobbles me, I have to tell you that I have always taken you as an inspiration. I can't even imagine how tough it can be to live without any parents at all, when I always fought with mines. I can't interpret how you can not have storms raging in your mind when your mistress burns you black. I have seen the faith inside you , the faith which I can never possess. A faith in yourself which lets you survive the world"


He said that, and after some days passed away.
You know him, don't you? We all know souls like that who come into our lives, do their significant roles, and disappear..disappear in the darkness so helpless that it gradually sucks in all the love inside you!