55 fiction : When someone fills the absence.

She sat her window,gazing at the clouds passing by, when a deep voice took her by surprise.
"You feel better?", he innocently asked.
"Time's healing things, but the absence still lingers.", she vaguely spoke.

"Someone's presence can complete the absence of everyone. For me its you!", he confessed.


She felt some love rekindled and gently hugged him..

And she lay numb..

Suggestion : Before reading the post, think of the biggest mistake of your life and feel the sorrow which you felt at that moment, and with that sorrow give this a read.
Trust me, with no emotions of joy, sorrow, love or lust. You will never feel this post.

Like someone takes all the layers of your skin off..one by one, slowly.. with the speed by which the crystal clock gayily perched on her room's black and white wallpaper and said "4:30 a.m"..with the same motion did she feel that a sharp and thick knife was slowly being pierced into her skin and the suffering became inevitable..with each breath she took, she felt as if someone was slowly cutting off the oxygen supply which had given put in some life in her for a change. The red lamp in her room gave her the feeling that she had entered hell right away..and the Devil was laughing on her hysterically for her sin. She didn't know what to do except for piercing a blade into her left vein. Sudden reveries of what had happened the night ego kept flashing in her minds, and with each arriving moment, she felt as if the whimpering and comparitively dark piece of light coming in from the window was distracted by the smoke which kept coming out from her cigarette. She rubs them off, but the clear view has gone forever. The second she turns in her bed, she feels the sensation that she's been put on a bed of razors. She wants to walk, but her organs, specially her heart have stopped showing mercy, and slowly penetrates into her soul, a fear, a fear of her secret being known to the world. She's captured in clutches of slavery, and by each passing breath, she feels them become shorter by the second. The blade which she put in her left wrist hurts like hell, but there's no pain which can make THE pain subtle. The most eeries silence surrounds her, and into her eyes she can sense the dread entering..the dread which has made a lot of women suffer.Veins slowly turn green, and she can literally "feel" the mental vacuum. She had nothing, absolutely nothing to lay her head on, except maybe some gentle memories, which now hurt, rather than putting a gentle hand on her. The aura which once enlightened her soul is now her biggest enemy, and the pain slowly starts getting into her heart. The aura isn't friendly anymore..it slowly takes her conscience away. Was this destined to be? Laughter,joy,sorrow,love,friendship,hatred..all feelings have betrayed her..nothing remains, not even a tiny bit of faith. The faith was murdered brutally the very day she realized her blunder. And did someone say that mistakes are forgiven? Certainly not this one.Her body is considerably numb, and the pain is going away, not because she feels any calmth but because her last breath had been finally aken away. Not giving her any sadness, but just a reassurance that the insult will be of no one, not even her "Soulmate" who decieved her.



This is what a girl who has to abort her child feels like.
This is my point of view..how ugly it may be...but sigh.

The I in India

Where we worship Goddess Lakshmi, but innumerous Lakshmis are killed before they see light.
Where women adorn their hands with bangles of a thousand hues, but the colors of someone's soul are tortured till they lay as few.
Where we boast of ourselves on our rich culture, but millions are stripped off their love through the terror of the past and the future ;
Where birds are free to soar high and calculate the altitude of the sky; but someone is held back by chains till they can no more survive.
Where a Black President's election is glorified upon, but the thin line between love and hatred is ignored.
Where the chirping of birds and the sound of autumn leaves is music; but artists beyond conservative thinking are fugitives.
Where the treasures of the past are adorned "only" on walls; but a fighter's privileges are raped away.
Where even the moon is not the limit, but the same independance and freedom no one's face can any longer emit.
Is this the India dreamt of? An India led by self-centered prisoners who live on Money?

A small life to live and reflect upon;
Why not make the reflection crystal clear,
And somewhere where truly the 'mind is led without fear?'

Current Music : Sapnon se bhare Naina- Luck By Chance

To someone..with sealed love

We met in the psychology class, and wildly he was a fresher. (one of the most rowdy..I assure you!) It was just bang-and-we-met situation. We were having this drill where you're paired with.
Supposedly we were the worst pair which could be made.. he was one person who was like the most outspoken (read: brat)..someone who was continuously into singing hoarsely, not doing any assignments, and later poking people like me to help him. (Okay,okay!..I ain't trying to showcase myself as the biggest devotee of studies..but whatever!) So lets get back to the drill part..its supposed to be something embarassing, but now it seems like the best memories now..but time! I so hate this thing which is so damn stationery and is perhaps the biggest cheater you can have. No, I don't want any saints' view on this! I miss those moments..
Oh yeah..the drill!
Professor- So everybody, you've been paired, and whether you're happy or not! I'm done with my job, and for your job, read the details of the sheets which you've been given.
I cursed softly, and grumbled. To my dismay, Mr.Partner noticed it and laughed-"Boohoo! You don't like me, but I don't love you either, so lets not sulk, and get to know each other!"
I don't show off my sarcasm in front of people that easy, but come on, nobody speaks like THAT in the very first instance! So here's what I did..picked up the paper, and hogged down the details->
"Get to know your partner intently. Make him./her an open book, even if he/she is too closed"

I shot back right at him and said "D-uh! I don't need to open any of your chapters, you're already clear right from head to toe"
"Aw bad! I was just trying to find the key to lock your book!",and guffawed loudly.
"Huh..so whatever, lets get to the point..What's your name?",I ignorantly asked, not actually bothered whether he was George Bush's son, or maybe my neighbour's husband.
"Why not read the cover of the book, and tell me?",he teased.
"You're stubborn and outspoken..and yes, you really don't know how to talk!",I said.
"Lovely first lines about me. I'm so happy,girl!..what's your name then?..."Madonna or maybe Jennifer Aniston's cousin?", he said that and smiled.

Okay, I have to except, he had a very cute smile. I mean, yes, if he hadn't spoke to me like that, maybe I would have fallen in love with his smile. But for now, NO! I hate this rowdy rustic who thinks he Ramses' son!

"You're already making opinions about me. Too bad, I tell you, milady! You'll be a bad psychiatrist but a good psycho", he caught that on my face, and replied.
I mean that was some telepathy. I still don't understand how some guys really know what girls can be thinking.
Our drill continued..and went on for some two hours. Psychology is something bad to take up, incase you got a partner like his.

We gradually became friends..I mean yes, we couldn't be sure of it..but yes, friends can be a good word to suit our case. We had each other's numbers, but never called. We never visited each other's place, nor did we try to stay in touch. Nonchalant..oh yeah!
College was done in some years, and life was going great for me. Psychology sessions with some real psychos were over. My law practice was full on. Things were great with me. We had forgotten, atleast I had forgotten about him. You can call me ignorant.. but then time strikes you on the face at times..here's a Xerox of what I found while sifting through some old psychology book' of mines.It was stuck with scotch tape at the back of my book.

Subject : Get-into-the-soul
Drill Professor : Mr. Cherriot
Written by : Singh RanVijay
Mail status : Not sent
Respected Sirs,
My subject was a beautiful girl of 21, who had captivating eyes, with something very elusive about her. She hates guys who're sarcastic on the first note, and is someone very emotionally strong to be anything like a psychiatrist, but thankfully she's taken this an extra subject, and her mainstream is Law. As a person, she was someone fun to know. She reads a lot of novels.. as I found 1 Dan Brown and 1 Paulo Coelho peeking outside from her sling faded denim bag. She's someone very independant, with a mind of her own. That can be reflected in the way she dresses, and the confidence with which she speaks. Not easily influenced, but has less friends, 'cos she's too much into judging people by their first impressions and staying by them. To avoid her loneliness she blogs,writes dark poetry, and is a big Metal fanatic. (I know its bad manners to read a pretty girl's diary, but I couldn't resist it!) Though it doesn't show, she doesn't have any parents, and just to show that she is someone happy, she wears a mask over the sadness. She's intelligent, witty, and someone who I need as a friend. I'm someone who has hundred friends, but in need of someone as honest as her. This isn't anything near to a report, just a weird confession! And obviously I ain't mailing this.. Maybe she finds this in sometime, but maybe I'll be too far away. Maybe I'll be standing next to her,....ah ! The maybes are never ending. But for now..I need a pill. I had the migraine attack again.




Maybe he was wrong about the emotionally strong part..'cos I was amidst tears by now. I looked at my side, but there was no one by me. Just a picture framed in an animal print photo frame showed up. Yeah, I had the numbers of everyone kept behind it. I immediately called him up.

:-)

One star to another star-->


"I so love you! You're the one who fill my life with light!"





{YES! You can kill me for not even writing one sensical post and not visiting anyone's blogs}

There or not?

What if you wake up in the middle of the night and find all the stars faded away?







This is so happening with me.