My rockstar .

We were great friends..since around 7 years.Wow.Life was great when you were with him.He was a star,mind you STAR! It was a pleasure to talk with him,fight with him,and even sing hoarse songs with him.That was life,man.Those years spent with my "bestest buddy".Whenever I'd dress up and move out for college,he'd be there waiting on his bike,giving his cherubic smile and extra long "HEYYYYYYYYYYY!".And oh yes,the day was assured to be a disaster if I didn't see his face in the morning.If in case,he'd ask me something and I'd not reply,he'd act like a kid,and stop talking.But still,life was so perfect.But there's something about perfection that makes it imperfect! It was impossible to stay without talking with him,even for a day,that is.
After a month or so,he got into JHC,and went away to Bombay,and I,the lawyer,was busy studying in Bangalore.We did promise to meet,but come on,it was so like impossible.We met up,but hardly once in two months.Life was okay..it hardly mattered,as we (or precisely I) forgot that life was empty without somethings and people.
I told you no,how life had a habit of making perfect moments non-perfect?
Destiny.
Oh yes that crap thing..it made us meet! Sounds so great,no? It did,to me as well.I got a message on my mobile,which a long HEYYYY! which at once made me recognize that from whom the message was.I nearly jumped with excitment and started replying,until a phone call suddenly came on it."Heyloo Aunty" I immediately recognized his voice and spoke "HEY DUDE!" .."Oh yeah! 5 months and finalllly! "
"You forgot about me,didn't you",he spoke,mockingly.
"Oh yeah..who the heck cares about a dumbwit like you?"
"Hahahha..your sarcasm.By the way,on to the point! Mama's marriage coming up,and even Mom's birhday is round the corner,so we decieded to come to Bangalore for some time!"
"JEEZ! Really?!!!",I literally shouted with glee.
"Stop screaming,you jackass!",his smile could be felt in my ears even via those long thread of communication called PHONE WIRES.
"Haha..okay,dude.We'll meet up somewhere.How'd CCD be? Remember ...our old hang out place in Delhi?"
"Yup,sure..I'll bring some friends along,don't mind,do you?"
"Hell no!",I laughed.
It sounded so weird that he asked me to bring his "friends" along..All he had were insane friends. I pretty well knew it would some of his rowdy gang of guys coming up.

So the 3rd of February finally came up! Yippeee..it was one day when I got up without any alarm hanging around my lazy ass to wake me up.I was way too ecstatic today! As immediately as I was awake,I dressed up,and within an hour or so,I was totally dressed up in a hip way,head to toe.I look up my watch,it was around 10:00 a.m.3 more hours. Time sticks around when you're really waiting for the moment.
I slept for the sake of passing my time,as even blogging on my computer (which to tell you,was my favourite pass time) seemed really boring and monotonous.I got up at 1:30 .
Okay.Damn me,I am one big time sleeper.I was late to the thing I was awaiting,but then I thought it hardly mattered,he was totally non-punctual as it is.My dress was a crumpled mess,and so I re-dressed (not that I was the girlie toy who would dress up 2000 times if you asked her to do so) I got into those black and silver belles that he had gifted me some months back, short black skirt,and a red corset.Man! It was chill...and thus I had a denim waist coat on,and immediately I was up on my scooty,ready to go to my beloved CCD!
He was there.Sitting and looking around like a lost puppy, like old times. He saw me,and stood up with wide eyes,and immediately opened his mouth,and then looked at me from up to down,and he shut it again.I went on and hugged him.
It felt so formal,as if I was meeting him for the first time.But who cared? I got to see him after some ages,which seemed a boon in itself. I said "Hey..why looking so lost?"
His mouth turned into a small (mind you,a shy and small) smile."Looking for my girl"
The first two words of his 4-word sentence sounded bliss,but the last two were like...er..disastrous.
And then my eyes met her eyes.My gray eyes stared deep into her dark brown eyes.She sort of winked at me,and smiled...broadly.On the other hand,I looked at her,as if I had seen some piece of dead animal from the roadside.It was a deep grave,and cold..really cold stare.But before I could question her or anything,she went and sat in the chair next to him.The one which was like hardly an inch away from him,and she (that jerk) gave him a kiss on his cheek.Okay,I'm not supposed to feel bad of this,am I? I don't care what this guy had been upto.His life,wusn't it? And before I could voice my thoughts,he spoke up-
"This is Aleenah,my girlfriend"
It hit me.Oh yeah,it did.More stronger than it felt like to have a iron falling on your leg,and more dead than it felt to see a rat climbing on you.It bloody hit me.But still,in order to be a good friend,I cordially shook hands with her and said "Hi,I'm his old friend".
She smiled,and got up and hugged me,as if she knew me from some ages.She opened her mouth to say something,but before she could,I said-"Glad to see you both,but sorry,I have some bit of work.Gotta go"
About ten days after on the 3rd of February. I got a call from his number. I received it, but it wasn’t him on the line, it was aunty. She was crying, she was sounding miserable. The first line she spoke after she controlled herself was, “he died”. I said, “Aunty if that’s a joke, it’s not at all funny”. But she cried hopelessly and hung up.

I locked myself up cried the whole day and went to my mom at night. “How did it happen?” I asked. Mom said nothing. I shook her, she began to cry and handed me his diary. I read the last few pages. He had drawn things which very hardly legible. But what was legible was that on every page he wrote “life sucks" or something similar to that. He committed suicide.
He needed me, I failed to understand. He wanted me to stay, I left. He silence was demanding of more condolences but I spoke none. I failed.I was a murderer,I deserved to die.He didn't love Aleena either.Oh god,how could have I been so weird.





Current song :- Tum ho toh - Rock on

Awww fish! :D

Hello peeps!
*Phew* Finally,after I got over with my Writer's block,here I am,penning down my latest chat with my deareest Mac or Macadamia the Nut..oh yes,we're two big lovers of life,and the current scenario of people being affected by the "Committttedd disease" gives us jitters.Oh yeeah! Here's our convo,have a laugh

PS-This isn't to hurt the holy sentiments of the person who began this mind boggling epidemic (Cupid,or whaart?) and nor is this to promote our happiness in being Single.

Aayushi : you believe in singledom?
Macadamia : singledom?
Aayushi : as in being a single and nt gettin' involved in gf-bf relations
Macadamia : for me specifically... No
Macadamia :someday... maybe if I find someone who's got hritik's torso, tom's face, denzel's legs and shakuntala devi's brains.... I might succumb
Aayushi : LOL
Macadamia : :D
Aayushi : Impossible things to find,all in one man.
Macadamia : till then.. lets eat, play and be merry

Macadamia : So... I'll ask you a question first
Macadamia : K?
Aayushi : Shooooot!
Macadamia : :P
Macadamia : So.. what made you suggest 'singledom' as a topic for our combine post dudette?
Aayushi : I see too many people "falling" in love,or "wanting" to fall in love..errr..it amuses me of why people are gettin' so light headed by this disease of love
Macadamia : I agree (so kill me) Love seems to do weird things to some people. But, don't you think that's only with people who have the wrong idea of what this whole love thing is about?
Aayushi : Oh yes (kill us both for that),nearly everyone is more addicted to lust these days.No one really tries to look at the love thing from the view of it being a relationship full of kisses and crap.HECK,thats not love.
Macadamia : Dude! you are too young to be so cynical. Or am I the stupid one here?
Aayushi : No! We both are the stupid ones here\
Aayushi : So what would be the first feeling when you would meet that *ahem* someone special?
Macadamia : I don't even know anymore I'd most probably laugh
Macadamia : P.S. Do those mythical creatures really exist? Those Mr. Rights?
Aayushi : Oh gaawd,they're the type of asses who you get to witness just once in a lifetime
Macadamia : LOL!
Aayushi : that too,only for a "one-blink-and-he's-off"
Macadamia : Darn! that's shorter than a small globulet of Dippin' Dots
Aayushi : I prefer food to guys
Aayushi : :D
Macadamia : SAME PINCH!!!!!!
Aayushi : Ouch..that hurt
Macadamia : And books!
Aayushi : :D
Macadamia : And washing my hair!
Macadamia : And manicures
Macadamia : ;)
Aayushi : Ah..I would prefer marrying my hair to marrying a guy
Macadamia : Omg!! :D
Aayushi : Next ques--But then why is everyone so over-obsessed in having a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Macadamia : Are they? Hmmmm... maybe for the initial feel good factor? Freebies? Masochism? Hell who knows girlfriend Some people even like body piercings. Doesn't mean I'll go get my navel pierced. O.U.C.H!!!
Aayushi : Woow..you got the words off my mouth
Macadamia : Do you like chocolate mousse or raspberry?
Macadamia : Oh wait... i can't ask you these interesting questions huh
Macadamia : SIGH!
Aayushi : I agree.SIGH!
Macadamia : Do you think you're prejudiced again "love"? Or is it because you've seen friends go off their rocker because of this 8th deadly sin?
Aayushi : Its probably because I have seen people weeping their life out after they got ditched.And NO! I don't want to see myself like that!
Macadamia : I know what you mean. Back when I was in the hostel, our daily entertainment was the love lives of fellow boarders
Macadamia : I know it sounds callous but ...
Macadamia :Don't you think maturity has a big hand in dealing with this emotion?
Aayushi : Maturity is just the need of the hour,dude. Once you can differentiate between a true lover and a cheater,the game is all yours!
Aayushi : But then why do you think are people so in love with writing poetry on heartbreaks or maybe even the beauty of a lady
Macadamia : I think it's the whole 'emotion' thing they like. Haven't you heard of the saying "being more in love wih love itself"
Aayushi : Fish,all this gives me a splitting headache.*whew*
Macadamia : Same here
Aayushi : Lets keep our sanity,and warn these people against this deadly disease!


IN UNISON-BEWARE!! LOVE MIGHT BE WAITING AROUND THE CORNER TO TREACHEROUSLY MURDER YOUR INTELLECT!
(The Mac 'n' Kris Anti-Love Organisation might save you from this upcoming epidemic.Please co-operate!)

Point blank.

NO! I screamed. A scream cutting across the icy cold swirls of despair,agony and loneliness hanging above me;cutting into me like brittle and callous spikes of thorns.Invisible bands of darkness tighten across my neck and chest making every breath come out dragged and painful.My wounded heart and soul crumple up on the concrete floor in a heap of fated dust.The miasma of conflict has now subdued.The last burst of hope has forever been quenched.I AM NO LONGER ALIVE.I AM YOU.

I am what you have made me.A mortal cripple with no emotions,a hollow body devoid of a soul.But I still go on.Two legs which walk but ruthlessly stamp the inferior being and tread on their every hope and happiness.Two hands which feel but choke even a small stifle of emotion.Two eyes which see but have long since blocked out all sights of suffering and torture.Two ears which undoubtedly hear but are immune to every cry for help.A mouth which is robbed of all powers to speech by this selfish brain and finally a heart which has sunk into a terrifying void of darkness with no doors of light.

Humans now hang over the precipice of brutality and insensitivity.Their vulnerable and intensely gullible nature has often left them blindfolded to every misery and affliction in the world making them utterly egoistic and ignorant.In this materialistic world virtues have been barbariously slaughtered and those following them have long since wavered to immorality or have met the corrupt and disdainful society thus tainting and murdering his soul.Bribery and extortion have not left a single untarnished being.

The perplexing and precarious position of humans is such that they often critisize other and themselves masquerade as blameless angels.Those who consider themselves to indeed be those innocent angels are living in a false realm of sycophancy and hypocrisy.
If we indeed are genii as we claim to be then we need to look into the abyss of our hearts and in doing so we will have a truly enlightening rendezvous with our true monstrous being.The devastating truth is that not a single man stands who can still claim to be an embodiment of morals.
The pitiable heart is taking its last breath screaming for help.Alas! all turn a deaf ear to its pleas.Its voice is muffled forever;it has been choked to death. I am no longer alive.I am what you have made me.A mortal cripple with no emotions,a hollow body devoid of a soul.

UPDATE-By this post,I also wanted to apologise to two of my greatest blogger mates,and two lovely human beings,for my sarcastic tongue,and uncouth behavious.Forgive me,Sameera and Cindi! :) I'm young and still not mature,my heartfelt apology dears. =)